Trustworthiness

An earlier blog (http://lifemasterymusings.blogspot.com/2014/12/character.html) examined the fundamental elements that comprise character.  These included, by various accounts, all of the following: 

Optimism           Wisdom             Courage/Bravery    Humanity

Persistence         Justice             Temperance        Transcendence

Social intelligence Authenticity               Persistence         Kindness

Gratitude           Hope               Humor                    Citizenship

Fairness            Integrity           Love                Honesty

Zest                Appreciation of beauty    Social intelligence

Self-regulation     Gratitude           Self-control               Passion

Unswerving Dedication                  Grit                 Curiosity

Inclusion            Self-Discipline      Compassion         Responsibility

Friendship          Work               Perseverance       Loyalty

Faith               Self Confidence    Creativity 

However, one common theme throughout is: 

TRUSTWORTHINESS. 

A person who has impeccable “character” is, above all things, “Trustworthy” – worthy of utmost TRUST. 

More particularly, such a person can be entrusted to look out for – and act in accordance with – our own best interest, and/or … in a larger and more egalitarian sense … the best interest of the “common good”.  He/she is able to transcend gut-level, street-level self-indulgence inclination toward more worthy ends. 

NOTE:

Prurient pursuit of vested self-interest is the antithesis of “character”. 

A person of “character” is as good as his word (authenticity): He will be and do whatever he says he will do (accountability/integrity/responsibility).  He has the capacity – the talent, the proven experience and the skill … the expertise – to make good things happen.  He will meet or beat deadlines (diligence, perseverance), even in the face of significant challenges (grit).  He may even add value (creativity).  By any other designation, he is – by all meaningful accounts --  “trustworthy”. 

While “character” and “trustworthiness” are often relationship-based, they are not driven by external affirmation but by internal affirmation – by self-actualization realization in simply doing the best one can do.  External affirmation, if it comes (as it, nonetheless, inevitably will), is merely a by-product.  Real “character” is doing your best in the absence of supervision – without anybody looking over your shoulder or even knowing about it – without any thought or requirement for accolade or reward. 

Building character is a core element in both sports coaching and military boot camp.  Players/soldiers must be absolutely trust worthy and accountable to their teammates/comrades for being where they’re supposed to be and doing what they’re supposed to do ... to a point that you can entrust your success or your life unconditionally to their talent/skill and best judgment. 

If there is a distinction between “character” and “trustworthiness”, it may be that “trustworthiness” is more personal/interpersonal.  Finding someone with whom we can entrust our most sacred intimacies is how we fall in love. 

But, just as over-zealous character traits can become weaknesses, an over-blown translation of trustworthiness can become a liability:  

“If he really loved me, he would…

            … bring me flowers everyday …

            … build me a castle …

            … make every day a honeymoon experience …

            … buy me a 60-inch television …

            … do the dishes, take out the trash, do the laundry, hire a maid …

                                    … else, he doesn’t love me ENOUGH!“ 

Maintaining a constant “Reality Check” and beating THAT is where character and trustworthiness get traction and flourish. 

What we have a “right” to expect (how about what we “deserve”?) versus what we actually get can color the balance sheet in anything from mud to rainbows.  Expecting less and getting more is a recipe for enhanced wellbeing.  Perhaps that’s where “Gratitude” comes in.  How about expecting nothing and getting something?  Increased self-reliance and a decreased reliance on external validation/affirmation are critically important here.  Add valued investibles, such as “kindness”, “compassion”, “friendship”, “loyalty”, “respect” and “a helping hand” – all essential accessory elements in “trustworthiness” – and you’ve got a matchless winning formula.  

Points to Ponder 

An employer trusts that we will do the job with which we are entrusted to the best of our ability with the resources he/she has provided … and that we will continue to grow into the job and even “grow the job”. 

In licensing us to drive an automobile, the Department of Motor Vehicles must be convinced that we are trust worthy – i.e., that we have the knowledge, skills, level of responsibility and temperament to safely operate a vehicle on all kinds of roads in all kinds of conditions.   

Things that don’t work are shortcuts, excuses, and explanations. 

Become Gold Standard Trust Worthy!  Quartermaster