Through a Different Prism

One of the most important life mastery skills we can adopt is the ability to see things beyond our “first thoughts” and through the most unbiased “Prism of Highest Perspective”.  We need to keep turning the kaleidoscope until we get the best alignment of our vision with the highest possible perspective of understanding.  An outstanding example of such a differential perspective is given in the piece below, entitled “Letter from God about Christmas”.  [See also: “Your God is Too Small” by J.B. Phillips].  While Christmas may not be a season of faith, hope and enlightenment for you, personally, the illustration is no less instructive.  And, since it is a Season of special meaning for me, I am posting it with every good wish that your holidays be filled with Joy and Wonder and Peace.  [Disclaimer:  This piece is not mine and I don’t know where it originated.  But it is much too good not to share.] 

Letter from God about Christmas 
  It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. 

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
  Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santa's and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.
  Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.
  If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:
  1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.
  2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.
  3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up... It will be nice hearing from you again.
  4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.
  5 Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.
  6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless?  Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.
  7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. 

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.
  9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who won’t have a "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.
  10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.
  Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I Love YOU!

P.S.

Putting the “X” in “Xmas” is not actually taking “Christ” out of “Christmas” but using the ancient first-century code for “Christ” applied liberally during the dark ages of persecution.   People recognized each other as Christians by drawing “X”s in the sand … something that may well come in handy in the 21^st century. 

Merry Christmas!       Quartermaster

Wear the Hat

It’s more than a bit disarming/disconcerting when spurious things insert themselves into our personal agenda and impose themselves on our personal radar – things we didn’t “ask for”, that  don’t really “fit” the persona we have meticulously shaped for ourselves, that just don’t “feel” right and that we just don’t “feel” like doing. 

And it’s an even more direct affront to sensibility when we find ourselves behind and beleaguered by things that are on our personal agenda but untended. 

Like it or not, dispatching and dispensing agenda items, no matter how they got there or by whom or from where, is the “business” we’re in for the duration – preferably executed professionally with excellence.  But sending a cobbler – not to mention a reluctant, disinterested novice or untested “whatever” insouciant – to do a tailor’s job just won’t cut it. 

In the course of events, we’re called upon to wear many different hats.  These may variously include: sales, service and maintenance, customer service, writing, accounting, healthcare, food services, environmental services/housekeeping, entertainment, social services, research, performance analysis, problem-solving, organization/administration, inventory, computer skills and services, report preparation, counseling, construction/renovation, fabrication, editing, fashion/design/decorating, hosting, lawn & garden services, purchasing, etc. 

Here’s today’s suggestion:  In the moment you need to be a writing professional, put on the writing professional’s hat and BE a writing professional.  In the moment you need to do math, put on the mathematician’s hat and BE a mathematician.   And how about the collar, raincoat, shoes … and maybe even the belt and suspenders!  The Smothers Brothers probably said it best:  

“My old man’s a sailor:

Whatta you think about that?

He wears a sailor’s collar,

And he wears a sailor’s hat.

He wears a sailor’s raincoat,

He wears a sailor’s shoes,

And every Saturday evening

He reads the Sunday news.

And some day, if I can …

I’m going to be a sailor,

Just the same as my old man.”

“My Old Man”

Oscar Brand, Hollis Music, Inc.

“The Funny Side of the Smothers Brothers (think ethnic)”

At the very least, wear the hat.

“BE the professional you need to be for whatever it is you need to be doing, and do it with excellence.”            Quartermaster

Making Life Easy(ier)

Life doesn’t have to be as tough as we often make it on ourselves!

Truth be told, we do a lot that is not only unnecessary but that is counter to our primary goals and sometimes debilitating.  Such things include:

·         Unnumberable hours watching television

·         Unnumberable hours Twittering, Tweeting, playing “Angry Birds”, etc.

·         Unnumberable hours “getting it together” … whatever “it” is

·         Perseverating on trivial matters

And, on the flip side, we don’t do a lot that is “enlifening” and that can actually increase our capacities, like: 

·         Eating right

·         Exercising

·         Reading / Researching Life Mastery  and life-enriching resources

·         “Practicing” our art or profession or craft

·         Constructively cultivating our “self” expression through relevant hobbies

Goal tending is important and our primary goals should command – better, conscript – our primary attention. 

Time is our greatest ally if we use it wisely and our greatest foe if we abuse it.  

“We can only do what we can do, but we have to do that much.”  (Unknown)

If we can give up the notion of “having it all” and “doing it all” and not missing anything, and if we can make a few strategic sacrifices – like giving up “junk bond” investments in favor of “blue chip” investments, life can become much more meaningful and manageable. 

“Do your duty and a little more, and the future will take care of itself.”  Andrew Carnegie

Good places to start are: Redefining what “ALL” should include*, narrowing the unlimited choices we have, discriminating and separating “wants” from “needs”, and redistributing our “wants” over an expanded time frame (i.e., practicing delayed gratification). 

*NOTE:  There are a good number of things one shouldn’t do at certain times and in certain circumstances and a fairly large number of things one just shouldn’t do altogether – in any circumstance.  

 “Life is about choices.  Strength comes from constructive choices; power from avoiding unconstructive choices.”    Quartermaster

Whatever you do NOW on your “Oughta Do” list will make life richer, fuller and more manageable in both the short and the long run.  Be an “Oughta Doer” (“Auto-Doer”?), not a “Doo Doer”, and just go ahead and DOIT NOW! 

 “If we do what we’re supposed to do, life will turn out the way it’s supposed to be.”  Posting on an old farmhouse calendar

Unreasonable Hope & Reasonable Doubt

In the waning days of 2011, deep in the throes of “Election Campaign 2012”, we’re being inundated with candidates of every ilk – though ultra-wealthy all – holding forth on their respective Rosetta Stone solutions to currently unsound government practices, policies and personnel, feeding our fervent hope for more soundly based governance and a better world.  We listen intently for that indelible ray of sunshine that will FINALLY bring us to Nirvana, and we hear snipets of what EVERYONE likes to hear [remember, “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee!” … or the American Dream, or apple pie … ], but, in the end, more of us will be voting against candidates that don’t measure up to our liking than will vote for the winning candidates.  It seems that, in each election, we look in vain – with unreasonable hope – for that candidate who can serve everyone’s best interest “beyond reasonable doubt”. 

In fact, nobody can.  There are too many issues to consider and too many conflicting vested interests.  No, Virginia, there really isn’t any Santa Claus.  The poor want taxes raised on the rich and the rich want fewer taxes, period.  And the winning candidates are generally the most indebted to wealthy special interests who expect their interests to be served first best.  So, after a short honeymoon of unreasonable hope following each inauguration, reasonable doubt creeps in and we continue to muddle through with the majority simply getting what they can get from the “leavings”.  And, all too soon, we begin looking toward the next election with renewed unreasonable hope for unlikely salvation. 

It’s not unlike that in our every day work-a-day world. 

CASE IN POINT: It’s a sobering admission, but I have to say I wasn’t the “preferred” candidate for the job from which I recently retired.  The preferred candidate was actually a “crackerjack” global visionary and mathematical modeling expert from the Scripps Research Institute in La Jolla, CA.  Fortunately for me, the University of Kentucky couldn’t afford the global visionary [for whom they held unreasonable hope], so they settled for me [with reasonable doubt].  The next 27+ years were spent removing the doubt.   

During those years, while striving to build a world-class Center of Excellence in cancer research, this scenario was repeated many times over, but with more mixed results.  Hope and an expectancy of great things to come accompanied each job search.  Some outstanding candidates we couldn’t afford.  But it was more common that many we could afford – and did hire – didn’t measure up to anticipated expectations.  There were numerous reflections of a fellow Zig Ziglar describes:

“He stopped looking for work the moment he got the job!” 

But you can’t just pack it all in as “hopeless” and hope is not always unreasonable!  Some of the unlikeliest hires turned out to be top-drawer stars.  Like the young woman from Flatwoods, KY who got married right out of high school and deferred entering the workforce for a dozen years to raise a family.  Or the young nutritionist from Berea, KY who was called upon to run a research project that had stumped a Harvard graduate.  And even unlikelier champions populate some of the highest offices and own some of the most prestigious awards.   

As long as there are Dreams to dream, there will be “Unreasonable Hope”.  And as long as we seek to be treated as “Special” without having to do an iota more or different than anyone else, there will be “Reasonable Doubt”.  But as long as there are hungry, passionate, dedicated, “failure-is-not-an-option” pilgrims striving to seize the very best opportunities to prove themselves – both to themselves and to others, real HOPE will remain alive and “Reasonable Doubt” can be vindicated. 

“Our job, over time, is to make Hope ‘Reasonable’ and to remove any ‘whispering’ of Doubt.”  Quartermaster 

False Premises

To the detriment of both civilization at large and our own well being, our underlying assumptions and overarching premises are often not well founded.  In fact, they are sometimes based on mere pie-in-the-sky / when-my-ship-comes-in / prince-on-a-white-horse fantasies, or – worse – on purposely misleading intentions.  In consequence, we liberally apply rationalizations and invoke elaborate excuses and explanations to exonerate ourselves.  What criminal feels justly accused? 

Sometimes we simply “don’t know any better”.  And sometimes we misread the tea leaves.  But sometimes we persist in pursuing paths to rack and ruin despite clear evidence of impending disastrous consequences.  Premises for such behavior may include postulations that: 1) one could get run over by a cement truck before the opportunity presents itself again; 2) it won’t hurt to do “just this once”; 3) I’ve “earned” it; 4) I might not get caught; 5) delayed ramification can be extended indefinitely; and/or 6) I can always “make up” any deficits over time.     

Not making it any easier, we live in a world of mixed messages – at best – with a bent toward narcissism.  And since our self-esteem guardians and guarantors tell us we’re “special”, we feel some level of indemnification – i.e., given that we exist on a different playing field from “all the rest” and, therefore, have “executive privilege” with immunity. 

Then there’s the “sleeping giant”.  Through Elysian beginnings of life we accumulate the seeds and adopt the blossoming expectation that life will simply continue to get better – even in spite of what we do.  The circumstantial evidence is compelling:  Usually, by age 1 we become strong enough to start walking.  By age 3/4, we get to go to pre-school; by age 5 kindergarten.  By age 15 – with a little luck and some compassionate teachers, we’ve had progressive passage through at least 9 grades of secondary education plus puberty; at age 16 we qualify for a driver’s license application; by age 18, we graduate high school with certification to vote and see all of our fantasies fulfilled.  By age 21, we’re declared independent with license to get legally smashed.  How much better can life get!?!  Oh, yeah, there’s marriage with all the unconditional love that goes with it.  And the magnificent house with the white picket fence that automatically follows.  Not to mention the dream job (like in “The Office”?), with all the perks. 

Or maybe not!  It’s a sobering, Defining Moment to find oneself broke, bankrupt, divorced and/or jobless by age 35 wondering “What happened?!?” or “Who Moved My Cheese?”   

Unfortunately, it turns out that too many realize too late in the going that some of the premises were flawed … and a good number of them patently untrue, unfounded, unwarranted and unworkable throughout.  (See also “Getting It”, December 9, 2011.)

“The adoption of false premises – either blindly or blatantly – cannot lead either to Truth or to Transcendence over a sorely befuddled and bereft human condition, the betterment of which requires proven principles and premises, together with disciplined management and molding, if we are to realize anything close to our magnificent potential.”    Quartermaster

             

Getting It

We recently considered the challenge of FALSE PREMISES – flawed principles and practices that take us off the road to our truest Destiny and, not infrequently, off the road altogether.

One of the most disarming false premises is:

“I’m not responsible for what I don’t know.”

Taken to its illogical conclusion, one would have to assume that the primary goal in life is to know as little as possible so as to be responsible for as little as possible! 

The plaintive cry of the Great Unwashed – when called to account and found short – is: “Nobody ever told me that!” … as though, like in grade school, if it were really important, someone would have spoon-fed us or pounded it indelibly into our heads.  Unfortunately, life doesn’t really work that way. 

The truth is that we are not only responsible for “knowing” a lot more than we’re taught, but we have to put what we know – and can figure out – to good use.  Over the years I encountered a significant number of employees who were quite “unknowing” about the work world in which they found themselves, but who – when pressed to the wall – expressed unbounded enthusiasm for taking training courses, which they did ad nauseam.  Their cubicles were, consequently, plastered with training certificates alleging multiple competencies.  Unfortunately, most had few accomplishments of any account to claim for their official time “on the clock”.  Some connection with results seems an ethereal goal for such folks.  It’s a sobering realization that:

“You do NOT get paid for what you know or what you do.

You get paid for what you've DONE!”

Peter Thompson

And, notwithstanding much overdue attention to work-life issues, the work world is not simply an extension of home or family or high school or college or graduate school or anything one will see on television sit-coms or YOU TUBE.  A C-minus will not get you passed on to the next job grade but will likely be a cause for corrective action with eventual dismissal if it continues.  For any kind of advancement, we are expected not just to meet expectations – which are generally “A-grade” in nature – but to exceed them – to add value – to show initiative – to have some “skin in the game” – to show some level of “ownership” – to demonstrate effective self-supervision. 

Several “Inconvenient Truths” are important to consider on cross-examination here:

1)    We’re not nearly as “good” as the self-esteem police would like us to think we are;

2)    We’re not nearly as “good” as we could be;

3)    We’re not nearly as “good” as our mothers tell everyone we are;

4)    It’s probably a stretch to match all the claims on our Resumes; and

5)    We’re not nearly as “good” as we’re going to need to be to advance our career or profession and to earn (note “earn”) our keep at an advanced salary level

Life and living and learning are works-in-progress for the duration.  Doing more, smarter and better is the name of the game.  The stakes get higher.  If we’ve been on the planet for 24 hours beyond the day before yesterday, we should know better and should have increased capacities to do better.  At age 15, we can get by working minimum wage for “pocket money” while we’re living under someone else’s roof with someone else feeding us and paying the bills.  But we’re expected to pull increasing amounts of our own weight with time and with all the opportunities available.  PLUS we’re expected give something back!   

And we can’t simply dial back our “needs” to cover the difference.   We can – and should – dial back our “wants” along the way, but our needs keep expanding over time.  We need: Increasing independence; more “space”’; expanded “creditability"; increased savings for retirement; expanded endorsements; debt reduction; cost of living increases; expanded technical acumen; more reliable transportation; etc.

“Getting It” is an ongoing exploration.  While it doesn’t make life any easier, “Getting It” makes life a lot more manageable.  

Healthy skepticism about how really “special” and “well positioned” we are, accompanied by robust learning and editing skills to assure that we don’t miss anything important or that we don’t royally screw up, is the best insurance against failure.  And due diligence (see “Legitimization”) is a powerful antidote to anxiety, stress and a host of inadequacies, which, together, can eventually be overcome.  Quartermaster

Accessorizing for Success

Some days it just seems to take forever – not to mention an imponderable effort – to get going and keep going.  A “quick start” accessory – or two – could be very helpful in getting the job started, and a sustaining accessory or two might be extremely helpful in getting the job done. 

How do we “accessorize” for success?

Many (most?) already do accessorizing either consciously or subconsciously.   But we don’t always use the most effective or enduring “accessories”, and not, generally, for the primary purpose of success.  Truth be told, our ulterior motive for “accessorizing” is often to take us away from our primary mission – or what it would be if we had one.  Prevalent accessories include: Smart phone apps; double-latte cappuccinos; Krispy Kreme donuts; tattoos; specific “routines” (habits); bubblegum; “must-see” TV programs; etc.

However, higher level “accessories” worth considering for more assured success might include the following: 

·         Mission and Purpose (restated frequently). 

·         A Personal Manifesto (“I believe …; I am committed to … ; I will … ; I will not … “)

·         Exercise (gets the “juice” flowing and clears cobwebs)

·         Proper rest and nutrition (keeps the mind alert/focused and the body able)

·         A LIST of priority things that need to be accomplished

·         Readily available reference books/contacts/resource materials

·         A reliable calendaring system

·         A track record of outstanding results to build on

·         A “Reality Check Ratiocination”:  (“If I’m really good, I’ll have something really good to show for it.”)

Personally, when all else fails and the going gets really tough, I bring out my “By God Armor-All Coveralls”. These unique and imposing vestments are only EVER used for 100% engagement in productive endeavors – particularly unpleasant ones (see “Devil’s Alternative”) – and provide essential immunity against distractions, deterrents and dysfunctionalities. 

Each of us should have in our success tool kit a “No-Holds-Barred”, “Get TOIT and DOIT”  “Buck Stops Here”, “Failure is not an option” accessory.  Develop/define your own “ultimate/ultimatum” accessory and apply it as often as necessary to get the job done. 

“RESULTS is the name of the game.  What other game is there?”   Jim Rohn

Legitimacy

To be “legitimate”, is to be “real, genuine, conforming to recognized principles and accepted standards.”  (Webster)  It is to “walk the walk”. 

This journal entry was inspired by the mental toss of a coin concerning whether and/or when to do the recommended daily exercise routine.  Not surprisingly, “Tomorrow” and “Later” got the most votes!  But shame and due diligence eventually overruled and I was on the elliptical without further “discussion”. 

In truth, I’ve found the major benefit of exercise is not necessarily to “stay in shape” – a nonetheless tremendous secondary benefit – but to clear one’s brain.  However, it occurred to me –while exercising – that an equally important secondary benefit is to provide “legitimacy”.  The question lurking in the background was: How can I rightfully negotiate my way through the wanderings of the day if I haven’t done due diligence in getting my exercise … or if I haven’t gotten proper nutrition … or if I haven’t done dozens of other things I could and should do to make my way in the world most passable – i.e., if I haven’t BEEN the person I “ought” to be doing the things I “ought” to do? 

NOT doing the “ought” leaves a cloud of substantially truncated possibilities hanging over my head and eventually out of reach. 

Importantly, exercise – or any other solitary “oughta do” – will not, by itself, carry the full load of “legitimacy” and does not, in any case, provide “license” for negligence in other areas.  However, “oughta dos” strongly reinforce a pattern of due diligence that have a positive, affirmative impact on everything that follows.  

Other elements of legitimacy include shaving and showering and making myself “presentable” to the world in which I function daily.  “Legitimacy” is not self-esteem or entitlement.  Legitimacy doesn’t qualify me for a trophy and nobody “owes” me anything.  It simply gets me in the gate and onto the playing field – kind of like buying a ticket and paying one’s dues.  But, WOW!  What a starting point that is!! 

Now we can legitimately go out and EARN our keep, bolster our self-esteem and put some negotiable credits on the board.  Just DO IT!

“If I can’t give a decent account of myself on my own behalf, how can others consider me a worthy investment on any other’s behalf?”    Lewis Kelly

“Do what you’re supposed to do and life will eventually turn out the way it’s supposed to be.” Old Farmhouse Calendar

Plugged-In

PREFACE

Finding ourselves “at loose ends” and/or “lost in the shuffle” is getting more palpable and more prevalent in 21^st century America – despite … but perhaps largely because of … Facebook, Linked-In, Twittering, Tweeting, and all the rest.  These superficial triflings create a perceived necessary but nonetheless unfortunate disconnect from the “burdensome realities of life”, along with a virtual sense of forward movement.  (A sensation similar to what one gets sitting backwards in a train moving inexorably toward the end of the line.)  

While the exploding diversity of virtual connections keeps us from being bored, the whole lot contributes painfully little to sustainably satisfying engagement or ultimate fulfillment – leaving us feeling a little like holding an empty bag when things start going south, as they are sometimes accustomed to doing.   

We need to be better, more securely and more intentionally PLUGGED-IN – as in “hard-wired” – rather than just superficially “Linked-In” … and to more substantive engagements.  (Seriously, I can’t put even fractional stock into what anyone else is watching on TV, viewing at the movie theater or eating for dinner.  In fact, I need to be finding investments where the dividends ARE worth MY investing and moving my attention, time and energy into those areas.)

THE CORE PROBLEM

For most of us, and particularly for youth and young adults, figuring out where and how to get “Plugged In” is a matter of great mystery and angst.  Even after graduating from college, many don’t have a clue what they want to do except “get a job” … ANY job … which is getting more difficult without experience and demonstrated technical expertise.  And “ANY” job is not necessarily going to get us headed in the most fulfilling and sustainable direction. 

SUGGESTED APPROACHES TO THE PROBLEM

Getting “Plugged-In“ at an early stage of life opens amazing doors.  Discovering a “passion” that can conscript and keep our undivided attention helps.  Fear or desperation can have similar “riveting” effects and are equally valid driving forces.  (Early in life I discovered I never wanted to be hungry or cold, insofar as I could help it, and I didn’t much like being associated with losing propositions.)  Inspiration also helps immeasurably where it can be found. 

Choosing resonating “electives” and extracurricular activities in high school provides a beginning framework for moving life-affirming impulses through the synapses.  Try an Apprenticeship, Toastmasters, the literary guild, the local entrepreneurs’ council, Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, Young Professionals Association, YMCA, Junior Achievement, Chamber of Commerce, etc.  Make fast friends with your local librarian and read, and research, and read some more.  Connect with a Dream/a Destiny, identify with a community, adopt a culture, become a member of a troop or a troupe or a team, connect with a career/a trade, reinforce important family connections, join the historical society, attend the city council, (see “What Color is Your Parachute” for additional suggestions.)   Put your boat in the water where the water is flowing by metric tons per second, not just trickling or virtually moving across a TV or computer screen.   

   

Being “Plugged-In” means “having some skin in the game” – beginning with our undivided attention … without the smart phone, TV, X-Box, YOU Tube, or Facebook running in the background.  It means stealing the time and energy and borrowing the money if we have to to expand our education, acquire essential tools, join a professional organization, or engage in a professional development program. 

Find a “live” plug and get PLUGGED IN!

“There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.”

                                        Marshall McLuhan, educator and philosopher (1911-1980)

BALANCE

Balance

“Balance” is a mystical/mythical condition in which we are – supposedly – able to equitably meet our physical, financial, emotional, spiritual and other well-being needs while achieving our Dreams.  

It’s a wonderful concept – which provides much fodder for personal and professional coaches, speakers and self-help writers – but it has its limitations. 

The truth is: we can’t have it all – at least not all at once.

So, most days, by sheer force of competing necessities, the best we can hope to achieve is a “Perfectly Unbalanced Life”.  Life has “Seasons” of widely varying composition and duration, as well as moment-to-moment “tipping points”, and we have to give each its due in its own time. 

“I believe the concept of balance in life is just an elusive myth that floats through the culture, serving only to render women guilty for having failed at one more thing.  Life does not come at us in regularly modulated units.   Rather, it pounds away at us unevenly, with twists and turns and in torrents.  Our vision should not be this myth of balance, but rather the understanding that we were born resilient, with the ability to survive, flourish and bounce back from adversity.  Let’s stop pointing out all of the problems women face and talk about solutions such as learning skills and strategies to enhance resilience so that women can further develop their innate strength, step forward on the paths they choose and know they have the ability to succeed.  This is a better vision for women – and a true[r] one.”

Teena Long Cahill, Psy.D., Newsweek Magazine, 2005

Importantly, “balance” is NOT about getting everything we want when we want it. 

We can achieve the operational equivalent of balance – i.e., a dynamic rather than a static equilibrium while continuing to move forward – by first establishing firm “anchorings” from which we can operate, even when substantially OFF balance ... with cultivated resilience … reasonably fulfilling our basic needs, and THEN fulfilling our more life-enriching needs.  NOTE:  Television, video games and smart phones generally do not meet either basic or life-enriching needs nor do they serve as viable “anchorings”.  Unburdening ourselves from such diversions, as well as from unproductive harborings and habits, will provide the surest and fastest approach toward re-balancing.   

True “balance” across the entire spectrum of life is about capacitization, sustainability, wise choices, wise time management and total intentional living.  And it’s about knowing what “floats your boat” – what provides optimal regenerative/restorative/re-energizing/enlifening/rejuvenating resilience – and engaging it early and often. 

“Each of us has the ability to take some amount of control over our lives.  We have to learn to focus on what we can control, and stop worrying about what we cannot control.”  

                                                                                    Terry Healey, cancer survivor

[Rest of the Story at http://www.ertia.org/musings/balance.asp] 

RULES

Rules

Human beings need structure -- e.g., "Rules" --  in order to function properly, never mind functioning at “Peak” performance levels.  The less “seasoned” need more structure.  “Structure” is not a natural occurrence, but generally has to be imposed.  The imposition of structure from within is far superior to the imposition of structure from without, but it is an agonizing growth process from the latter to the former ... generally resisted at every turn.  Unfortunately, very few of us ever make it all the way.  Of course, we can all “rise to the occasion” when “called to account”, but the sad truth is that we don’t ^___ worse won’t ^___ do it of our own accord, i.e., when not “pressed”, and it gets increasingly difficult with time and lack of application. 

Where a state of “Right Reckoning” is missing or deficient, or where it has not yet matured, we need the imposition of rules that say “Do this (period)” and “Thou Shalt Not (exclamation point!)”.  In such an imperfect condition, the answer to “Why?” is simply “Because!”   It can not be “reasoned”.

While few ever graduate to a true state of utopian “flow” where everything (carefully selected) positively reinforces everything else (“Finding Flow”, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi), many seek to mimic the effect by ignoring the rules and creating a sense of “flow” in the path of least resistance.  In this condition, the “System” and the “Grand Scheme of Things” actually become impediments – even adversaries ^___ to be resisted at every turn!  Is it any wonder we are in such desperate need of “The Rules”? 

As we learn from understanding “Flow”, RULES are only exigencies.  What we really need is a VISION through which the full glory, majesty and dignity of life can be realized. 

How can we capture such a “Vision”? 

Sir Christopher Wren was one of the greatest English architects of all time.  His masterpiece accomplishment was the design and construction of St. Paul’s Cathedral in London.  The story is told that one day he walked onto the cathedral construction site unrecognized among the men at work and asked several of them, in turn, what they were doing.  The first man replied, “I am cutting a piece of stone.”   A second man said “I am earning five shillings, tuppence a day to feed and clothe my family.”  The third, not recognizing the esteemed architect in his work clothes, exclaimed, “I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a magnificent cathedral!”

An individual with such vision as the latter will be unlikely to violate “The Rules”.  One without it will be hard pressed to keep any one of them. 

[See also http://www.ertia.org/musings/rules.asp] 

“I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.”             Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)

Endorsements

At my mother’s memorial service, there was a long pause in proceedings when the minister-in-charge asked if anyone would like to share personal comments about her life and times.  My “inner awareness” could very tangibly hear mother saying “Who will rise and speak on my behalf?” It turned out that everyone assembled was simply waiting for the first person to “break the ice”.  But once that happened, a flood of endorsements of a life well-lived came gushing forth, and I learned many new and wonderful things about this very special person in my life. 

If there’s anything to us at all, i.e., if we’re of any decent account in the world, we should attract and inspire endorsements.  Pro athletes, television and radio personalities, opera divas, political candidates, and even the local beauty shop measure their worth by the endorsements they receive.  Certainly, resumes and biographical sketches are nothing if devoid of bestowed awards and bereft of accompanying letters of recommendation. 

And, while some go well beyond reasonability in compiling endorsements*, endorsements do grease the skids and provide both internal and external validation. 

Endorsements are a level up from affirmation.  They include the “because”.

Endorsements carry with them both specified and unspecified entitlements (see “Rules” blog coming soon) and empowerment.   

Today’s Action Plan: Plant viable seeds of endorsement.  Find something useful and meaningful to do, which – done with excellence – adds important value to the lives of others. 

*Importantly: A “contrived” endorsement will not long stand, wilting hopelessly in the heat of battle at the front lines of meaningful endeavor.  A contrived endorsement dishonors both the endorser and the endorsee. 

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.  If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”                                       Warren Buffett

Devil's Alternative

Devil’s Alternative a God-Send

“The blows that a life of self-control

Spares to strike for the common good,

That day, giving a loose to my soul,

I spent on the unimportant wood.”

“Two Tramps in Mud Time” by Robert Frost

Adding insult (chopping wood) to injury (a bruised psyche), Frost experiences an otherwise elusive freedom, peace and exhilaration. 

Dateline November 3, 2011 “Dear Abby”

A contributor writes that her daughter, who hated practicing piano, had a major change of heart on being given the “Devil’s Alternative” ultimatum of doing “chores” or practicing piano. 

During an extremely busy time in my life, I faced two “inconvenient truths”:  The shower needed cleaned and I wasn’t getting any exercise.  So I constructed a “Devil’s Alternative”: Any day I didn’t exercise, I would have to clean the shower.  I began getting a truck-load of exercise!   Ultimately, the shower got so bad I couldn’t take it anymore.   But, rather than eliminate the exercise, I finally carved out a Saturday morning and completed the dirty deed. 

One could do worse. 

“Pessimism is more soundly based than optimism.  Left untended, things will get worse!  Our job is to keep them from becoming so to the best of our ability with everything that’s in us.” 

Lewis Kelly

Disciplines

Each week, my friend Michael, a library sciences professional, asks me what I'm reading.  I assume he wants to make sure I'm continually enriching my life!  So I'm trying to expand my reading horizons.  But purpose and content -- with some degree of intentionality -- are important.  So it's become one of many disciplines I need to work on ... along with eating right, exercising, getting organized, learning my music for the Christmas show, preparing materials for a patent application, and quite a few others.  I'm wondering:  What are you reading and what "Disciplines" are you pursuing/practicing/perfecting this week?   Let's unfasten our couch potato seat belts and go for it!!

 “We live by a saying at the French Laundry: ‘Do a little better each day.’”   Grant Achatz [quoted by Thomas Keller, Time Magazine, May 2, 2011]

Welcome 21st Century Adventurer!

The purpose of Life Mastery Musings to develop and cultivate an A-Team -- a team of individuals committed to positive change in the world, in their own lives and in the lives of those around them.  Understanding how the world works, understanding what the world expects of us, and building our capacities to meet those expectations to the full extent of our potential will be the primary focus of this blog.  The recommended attire is coveralls.   Here's to the winners we all want to be! 

“Even if you are not always visibly moving forward, at least leaning in that direction and having the inclination bears its own fruit eventually.”                                              Lewis Kelly