Balance
“Balance” is a mystical/mythical condition in which we are – supposedly – able to equitably meet our physical, financial, emotional, spiritual and other well-being needs while achieving our Dreams.
It’s a wonderful concept – which provides much fodder for personal and professional coaches, speakers and self-help writers – but it has its limitations.
The truth is: we can’t have it all – at least not all at once.
So, most days, by sheer force of competing necessities, the best we can hope to achieve is a “Perfectly Unbalanced Life”. Life has “Seasons” of widely varying composition and duration, as well as moment-to-moment “tipping points”, and we have to give each its due in its own time.
“I believe the concept of balance in life is just an elusive myth that floats through the culture, serving only to render women guilty for having failed at one more thing. Life does not come at us in regularly modulated units. Rather, it pounds away at us unevenly, with twists and turns and in torrents. Our vision should not be this myth of balance, but rather the understanding that we were born resilient, with the ability to survive, flourish and bounce back from adversity. Let’s stop pointing out all of the problems women face and talk about solutions such as learning skills and strategies to enhance resilience so that women can further develop their innate strength, step forward on the paths they choose and know they have the ability to succeed. This is a better vision for women – and a true[r] one.”
Teena Long Cahill, Psy.D., Newsweek Magazine, 2005
Importantly, “balance” is NOT about getting everything we want when we want it.
We can achieve the operational equivalent of balance – i.e., a dynamic rather than a static equilibrium while continuing to move forward – by first establishing firm “anchorings” from which we can operate, even when substantially OFF balance ... with cultivated resilience … reasonably fulfilling our basic needs, and THEN fulfilling our more life-enriching needs. NOTE: Television, video games and smart phones generally do not meet either basic or life-enriching needs nor do they serve as viable “anchorings”. Unburdening ourselves from such diversions, as well as from unproductive harborings and habits, will provide the surest and fastest approach toward re-balancing.
True “balance” across the entire spectrum of life is about capacitization, sustainability, wise choices, wise time management and total intentional living. And it’s about knowing what “floats your boat” – what provides optimal regenerative/restorative/re-energizing/enlifening/rejuvenating resilience – and engaging it early and often.
“Each of us has the ability to take some amount of control over our lives. We have to learn to focus on what we can control, and stop worrying about what we cannot control.”
Terry Healey, cancer survivor
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