Mea Culpas

“Mea culpa is a Latin phrase that means "through my fault"

and is an acknowledgement of having done wrong.”

Wikipedia 

“Most of the trouble we encounter in life is our own damned fault!

[Paraphrase of notable, wisened sages] 

So why do we continue to do stuff that we – or someone – can rightfully predict we will regret later?  Regrets in life are many – ranging from things we did that we shouldn’t have done to things we did that are outright wrong. 

The reasons this happens are legion.  Let’s take a look:

• Lacking “rhyme” or “reason”, we simply do whatever we think of first next
• We don’t know any better
• We don’t care / We are care-less
• We think we can get away with it
• We’re subject to Peer-Pressure
• We’re subject to the pressure of GRATUITOUS INDULGENCE
• We count on everyone else’s forgiveness
• We claim mystical levels of magic, super-powers, luck, and Divine Grace
• We either know for a fact – or assume – that “everybody else does it”
• We’re “Special” / We deserve it
• We don’t want to miss anything
• We count on unconditional love to bail us out
• We assume our indiscretions will be overlooked … “just this once”
• We count on Delayed/Deferred/Defused Ramification
• We try to “Beat the System”
• We feel a compulsion to defy authority / We insist on freedom from restraint

However, there is also a “Real Earth” component in the equation here, acknowledging our humanity.  We are who we are and what we do is simply what we do.  That’s life!  For better or worse, we’re married to whoever it is we are, to whatever it is we do and to whatever comes of it.  We’re not from another planet, and are not about to leave the one we’re on!   And nobody wants to be labeled some sort of “freak”, “geek” or “Goody-Goody Two Shoes”.  We’ll simply keep doing what we do unless or until there is a compelling reason to do otherwise.  And, if there is some statute of limitations on donuts or chocolate cake, we’d like to know exactly what that is so we can, “by all rights”, get as much more of our “due” than “allowed” or than anyone else = BEATING THE SYSTEM = WINNING!  Ain’t life GRAND! 

Unfortunately, expressions of regret are also legion:

• “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.”
• “I never saw it coming.”
• “I coulda done better.”
• “I shoulda done better.”
• “I didn’t realize it was all that important.”
• “If I only had one more chance!”

And then there are lots of excuses and explanations: 

• “Nobody ever told me that!”
• “That’s not my problem!”
• “I was only keeping up with the traffic.”
• “The dog ate my homework!”
• “I’m only human!”
• “Nobody’s perfect!” 

Unfortunately, there are consequences.  What’s left in the wake of ignorance, indiscretion and wanton willfulness – in addition to regret – is a pretty sobering fall-out, including: 

Anxiety … stress … anger … remorse … depression … health problems … lost opportunities … relationship problems … job losses … bankruptcies … 

Defining Moments and Moments of Truth tend to pile up.  And the un-piling becomes more intractable with time. 

Life is full of trade-offs.  We can trade off an awful lot of future possibilities to get what we want NOW, or we can trade off a few insignificant “junk bond” gratifications now (e.g., TV, video games, Tweeting & Twittering, sugar, salt and fat and lack of exercise) for much larger and more enduring gratifications later (e.g., career advancement, a productive hobby, enhanced health and wellbeing and enhanced self-esteem).  Our choice! 

[Check out the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment] 

The good news is it’s a pretty safe bet that you will not regret all the trouble you have been at to arrive at the very best place you can be. 

Own up to your ‘Culpas’ and get with the program!!

KNOW better, DO better,

and look forward to some outstanding rewards!”

Quartermaster