Nobody likes rejection.
We at least like to be included,
if not be deemed “Special”. Parents,
teachers, coaches, friends, and society-at-large all conspire to make us feel
like valued citizens ... at least up to the point that we fail to behave as
valued citizens and don’t deserve it.
But it’s important to understand that rejection has
incredible POWER in multiple directions.
It can either destroy or build lives, communities and entire nations,
depending on how it’s used and how we respond to it. In fact, rejection is one of the best
sculpting tools we have for becoming who we are and doing what we do.
Yes, we need to develop POSITIVE
POWERS, such as acceptance of responsibility, affirmation of others, and a commitment
to civilization-affirming principles and goals. And we need to focus on doing what needs to be
done. And we need to adopt a
viable/sustainable Mission, Purpose and Passion ...
And we need to be ambitious in
gathering all the knowledge and raw materials we will require to build a
vibrant and fulfilling life.
But we can’t have it all – at least not all at once – so we
have to be selective:
There’s certain stuff we shouldn’t do at certain times,
and certain stuff we shouldn’t do altogether!
Our brain’s ever-evolving and maturing “Executive Center”
needs to develop and judiciously exercise refined EDIT functions, which
includes the power to reject what doesn’t fit the Mission, Purpose, Values, Goals,
Principles, Best Practices … and future wellbeing … of YOU and ME, Inc.
Things
that might be included on a standard first-pass “Reject” list include:
- · Distractions
- · Temptations
- · Diversions
- · Prejudice
- · Injustice
- · Wanton Willfulness
- · Bullying
- · Rationalization
- · Invective Tribalism
- · Gossip/Innuendo
- · Unfounded Assumptions
- · Unrealistic Expectations
- · Unwarranted Entitlements
Rejection can, at times, look more like SACRIFICE … like
when a higher purpose calls us to reject something we’d really rather have or
do – such as rejecting the cheese cake to save the arteries and maintain
manageable girth, or rejecting going to the mall with friends in order to
finish our homework. However, in this
sense, it can easily be seen that some – in fact, MANY – of the things we
reject can become key cornerstones of a well-built life.
In the grand scheme of things, the measure of a person is
largely determined by the things he/she rejects … the things they find “unacceptable”
… the things that are “beneath” them.
Some may find any interference with their “game time” or social media
engagement unacceptable. Others may find
hunger and injustice unacceptable. Some
are not above rolling their sleeves up to do stuff nobody else will do. Some are not above using profanity. Some cannot abide driving anything less than
a Mercedes automobile.
Finally, rejection by others – or, seemingly, by life,
itself – is not always bad news, although it may seem like it at the time. It may provide both reasons and opportunities
for new beginnings ... for turning a new page.
It may help toughen us up. It may
mean we need to find greener pastures … to turn the kaleidoscope toward a
different colored light. Cancer patients
will sometimes say, “Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me … it toughened
me up, brought me down to earth, forced me to get REAL, helped me get my priorities
straight, and forced me to become more intentional about life.”
Sometimes a person who loses their job will eventually
admit, “It was the best thing that ever happened to me! I didn’t really ‘belong’ there … I wasn’t
going anywhere … it wasn’t a very good ‘fit’ for who I am or want to be. My only regret is that I should have made the
change long ago.”
Let’s affirm who we are, where we’re going, what our
Mission, Purpose, Values and Principles are, let’s get TOUGH, and let’s become really
selective in rejecting anything that will compromise key elements of the life
we want to live … that we DESERVE to live … that is sustainable … and that
enriches the lives of others. Quartermaster
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