Transforming Paleo You to a 21st Century STAR

 

                                        

  

“Natural Inclinations” may have provided a survival advantage in paleolithic times (at least they didn’t appear to interfere with survival of the species [or, come to think of it, maybe they DID!]), but they don’t serve us very well in the 21^st Century. 

Besides all the usual vices that came along undiminished, and, in some cases, were perfected during evolution, this bag of “natural inclinations” includes things like narcissism, lack of organization, lack of planning, shooting from the hip aggression, overt defensiveness, instant gratification, “negotiating” by brute force and threatening physical harm (“bullying”), eschewing innovation, accepting “first pass standards”, imposing self-will, etc. 

But the Life Template we all aspire to own and inhabit has become a lot more “refined” than that.  As civilization has matured and created more “free time” through innovation and the differentiation of labor, homo sapiens have raised their sights and looked toward increasingly distant horizons. 

Abraham Maslow observed that, once basic needs are met, higher level needs emerge to be satisfied. 

 

Unfortunately, many spend a lot of time and energy seeking virtual ways of satisfying both elementary and higher level needs without every getting their feet wet or hands dirty and never make it to the top of the pyramid. 

In his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, Dale Carnegie enumerated 24 “Essential Competencies” and 30 “Human Relation Principles” that were found to be important in differentiating the 20^th Century STAR from the Paleo predecessor. 

Five Core Success Areas encompassing these competencies and principles were lined out:

1. Self Confidence (Public speaking is used to help build self-confidence)
2. Human Relations
3. Communications
4. Leadership
5. Attitude Improvement

For the 21^st Century, it’s gotten a bit more complicated.  But some enduring First Principles still apply, and some of the most powerful are pretty simple: 

• Delay Gratification
• Do well unto others
• Be Authentic
• Cultivate Alliances
• Be Accountable
• Exceed Expectations
• Continue Self Development at every opportunity

It’s not a difficult formula.  It just has to be diligently followed, with the understanding that a lot Paleo stuff – like drinking fermented beverages, eating psychoactive mushrooms and gazing at stars, partying every night, maximizing fat, sugar and salt at every meal, binge-watching television (Paleos have adapted themselves well to indulging in 21^st Century diversions!), Tweeting, Twittering, Web surfing, and texting while driving (that’s SO-o-o Neanderthal!) – has to be given up in the process.  But most things to be “given up” aren’t worth a hill of beans in a final analysis. 

So let’s work on letting the Paleo go!  Nobody has a greater interest in your advancement toward a 21^st Century STAR than you do.  Stay true to YOU in taking on a rigorous course of self-development, knowing that the rewards of STARDOM far outweigh the challenges.  I can’t wait to see how it’s going to turn out!  Quartermaster

 

Unhappiness

What if …  

What if the main reason we become unhappy is that we have unrealistic expectations?  

While mowing the lawn last weekend, I became aware of a neighbor’s child crying – actually on the verge of a tantrum.  I couldn’t help thinking how unfortunate it is that children can’t and don’t yet understand how life works and can’t comprehend delayed gratification … not being the constant center of attention … or having to take some responsibility for their own welfare and wellbeing. 

But maybe we never completely outgrow the state of at least hoping, if not expecting, life to be much smoother and more to our liking over the long haul than it really is.  I’m struck by the unhappy messages permeating Blues and country-western songs.  For example: 

“San Francisco Bay Blues” [by Jesse Fuller]

“I got those Blues where my baby left me down by the ‘Frisco Bay.

An ocean liner came and took her away.

I didn’t mean to treat her so bad;

She was the best girl I ever had.

She said ‘Goodbye’; she made me cry;

She made me wanna lay down my head and die.

I ain’t got a nickel an’ I ain’t got a lousy dime.

If she don’t come back, I think I’m gonna lose my mind.

If she ever comes back to stay, it’s gonna be another brand new day …

Walkin’ with my baby down by the San Francisco Bay ...

Walkin’ with my baby down by the San Francisco Bay.”

OK, how about let’s get real?  With background revelations like “treating her so bad” and “I ain’t got a nickel an’ I ain’t got a lousy dime”, one has to ask:

What in the world could one rightfully expect

“the best girl I ever had” to do?

C’mon, man, let’s own up here!

How much personal equity are you putting into this relationship?

And what kind of a “Catch” are you, anyway?

Then there’s

“I can’t give you anything but love, baby.

That’s the one and only thing I’ve plenty of, baby.”

Jimmy Mc Hugh & Dorothy Fields

In the words of Charles Barkley:  “Is that all you got!?!”

Empty pockets, poor prospects and pandering promises don’t fly very high, very far, very long.

Points to Ponder:

You want love?

Make yourself LOVEABLE!

You want respect?

Make yourself RESPECTABLE!

You want a job?

Make yourself EMPLOYABLE!

You want happiness?

Surprise somebody!

Make OTHER people happy – and do it generously and often!

Of course, misfortunes and tragedies happen, so there are plenty of legitimate reasons for sadness / unhappiness out and about in the world.  But we don’t need to contribute to the condition by perpetuating a “downer” attitude and unrealistic expectations.  Go figure:

• If you don’t change the oil in your car, the engine is eventually going to burn out
• Every 20-30 years, the roof on your house needs to be replaced
• Taxes are part of civilized life; pay up – and don’t have a hissy fit!

Our inclination toward immediate gratification, superimposed on a background of small-pond attitudes, dreams and dependencies, unfounded assumptions and unrealistic expectations – not to mention fantasies – sets us up for perpetual unhappiness and rude awakenings. 

What if we had NO expectations … except that life was going to require everything we’ve got in order to get everything we deserve?  Then anything that didn’t completely fall apart when we touched it would be a cause for celebration!

“Man with no expectation but Big Dream in motion happy camper.”

[Something Confucius or Geronimo might have said]

Motivational experts tell us to expect good things to happen.  However, this assumes we’ll take every opportunity on OUR part to MAKE them happen.

Final Points to Ponder

Staying busy piling up capital and credits for

LOVEABLE, RESPECTABLE, EMPLOYABLE …

… and everything else on the wants, needs and Dreams list …

will keep us from brooding about whether we’re happy or not.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

A long view helps immeasurably.

Even large hurdles and major setbacks can be overcome

with time, dogged persistence

and an attitude of eventual surmountability.

Zig Ziglar used to tell about the incorrigible optimist sent to dismantle a pile of manure.  Putting shovel to pile, he gleefully exclaimed: “There’s gotta be a pony here somewhere!” 

Keep a “shovel-ready” Dream alive, expect to deal with a lot of manure,

And keep shoveling! 

Quartermaster

Roots

Last Fall, we cut down a struggling crabapple tree. 

            [It allowed me to acquire a new tool … a really cool battery powered chain saw!] 

This Spring we noticed some vibrant, shiny, new red-leafed sprouts coming out of the ground in odd places around the extended perimeter of what had been the crabapple tree.  They were actually beautiful … except that they interfered with the gardener’s plans and plantings in the reclaimed space under the tree. 

 

 

We soon discovered that simply pulling the sprouts out of the ground didn’t work; they were really resistant to being dislodged and kept reappearing.  Digging them out revealed their true underpinnings as outgrowths from the residual crabapple tree roots – even tiny ones. 

 

 

But they were, nonetheless, attractive and I wanted to see if they could be separately grown and eventually replanted in a more desirable area.  Alas, they didn’t fare very well when dislodged. 

 

  

I couldn’t help thinking … life is like that! 

We draw incredible support from our roots.  You can’t see it happening above ground.  But, while one can appear to be flourishing independently, it’s the connections to life-source infrastructure lurking below the surface that largely supports our wellbeing.  Cut those connections, and the result can be disastrous. 

 A guy’s heart goes into overdrive palpitations when a knockout young beauty drives by in a shiny new convertible … never mind the fact that her father or significant other is picking up the tab for all the hardware and softwear associated with the glitz and glamour. 

And the infrastructure needs infrastructure:  Roots need soil and water.  But note the creativity, determination and persistence – against all odds – of some accidental tourists that appear in totally unlikely places and harsh circumstances:

 

 

Due to the laws of nature, one can’t grow a giant redwood tree from crabapple roots.  But humans are different: We can actually choose the root systems that will support our future development and wellbeing! 

This we need to do with some care.  Nefarious undergrowth is forever lurking beneath the sod, cloaked in either glitz and glamour or pandering amusement, to expand domains of influence. 

Roots benefit from the association.  The most highly evolved blueprint is a symbiotic, two-way street rather than a parasitic, unidirectional association.  The emerging sprouts gather and feed filtered raw material from air and sunlight to the roots and receive and process filtered raw material from the soil in return, supporting mutual growth and development. 

Finally, although ones roots of origin remain an indelible association, the world and all its players are forever moving on. 

“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Dorothy

[L. Frank Baum]

Wizard of Oz 

“You’re not in Allentown anymore”

[‘Allentown can’t give you what you need to truly become Peggy Sawyer’]

[‘Allentown can only give you Allentown.’]

Show Producer to an emerging stage star

in 42^nd Street

"You can't go back home to your family, back home to your childhood ... back home to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame ... back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time – back home to the escapes of Time and Memory."

George Webber in Thomas Wolfe’s acclaimed novel

You Can’t Go Home Again

Harper and Brow, 1940, 743 pp. 

Our sustainable survival and ultimate wellbeing depend on mutually beneficial and maturationally benefactual associations.  Cultivate, support, learn from and advance those “rootable” associations most closely aligned with your core values and chosen Destiny.  Quartermaster