Wind Wonderings

Sitting at a stop light with my mind wa/ondering on and off about nothing and everything all at the same time, I became peripherally aware of a small, gray, animated “presence” moving along the sidewalk.  It would alternately roll over, then climb a small wall, then turn itself inside out, hurry on down the sidewalk, etc., with highly spirited undulation. 

However, on closer inspection, I discovered the animated gray “presence” was a plastic bag being blown down the street by the wind! 

Without warning, my “nothings” and “everythings” took a decidedly inward turn. 

Motivational gurus talk about “driving forces” that nudge us to do whatever we do – or don’t.  However, sometimes we do stuff without any discernible “driving forces” … just “being us”. 

So it occurred to me that each of us has some kind of “WIND” blowing over, around and through our lives that carries us along the sidewalks, highways and byways of the universe, and – particularly when other “driving forces” are not engaged – we simply move in the direction the wind inside us blows.  The constant “blowing” of this wind gives us the impression that we’re going somewhere, even when we’re not … and even when we’re going in an unproductive direction.  This “wind” is the prime source of our sense of “busyness” … like when someone asks us to take out the trash, walk the dog, clean up our room, unload the dishwasher, etc. … we’re “busy”. 

To an observer, the prevailing wind may be mistaken for attitude, and it probably is a significant contributor to attitude. 

A major contributing element to the prevailing wind, including its force and direction, is “natural inclinations”, supplemented by adopted habits. 

Some are resigned to let the prevailing winds dictate their destiny, with outcomes only fortuitous by accident, and generally not. The inevitably disappointing results are usually credited to “Fate”. 

So the operational question here is: How do we direct the “wind” inside and around us to take us where we really want or need to be going?  And how do we create/capture more of the “Good Wind”?   If we could but capture, tame/harness and direct that wind, what wonders we could achieve! 

Here we run into the ever-lurking question of GOALS.  What do we WANT?  What do we NEED?  And what engagement is most worthy to capture our best effort for the entire duration? 

Passion, Mission and Purpose help define wind direction and intensity and come packaged with self-directed wind generators.  Unfortunately, these are rare commodities in the underbelly of mere existence.  So we’ve got to do most of the “wind mining” from scratch.  But “wind mining” is the business we’re in for the entire duration – should we accept the challenge of matriculating toward our full potential.

Negative driving forces – like hunger, discomfort and fear of alienation of supporting actors  – can be a potent part of the mix: 

“Motivation is a pretty fancy name for a necessity of life.  It was motivation that put food on our plates, thoughts in our heads, and blankets on our bodies when it was pretty damn cold at night.  Motivation taught us all about life, sometimes good, sometimes not so good.  As my Pa used to say, ‘If you can’t go over an obstacle, go around it.  If that don’t work, go through it ... and make damn sure you don’t trip, boy.’  I guess that’s motivation for you.  Sometimes my motivation didn’t feel so good, so I just fed it some courage and hope.  It worked as long as I supported it.” Jack Dempsey  (Speaker’s Idea File, June 1994, p. 5, Ragan Communications, Inc., Chicago, IL) 

 “Tail winds” help immensely, if we can catch them, although we’re more likely to encounter “headwinds” and “crosswinds” in the usual course of events.  Tail winds can be found in the synchronistic wake of similarly engaged others or provided by a supporting cast of collegial first advocates and cooperating collaborators, coaches or mentors.  (NOTE: It pays huge dividends to make oneself “helpable”!) 

Capturing the wind of a Dream or a Passion provides the most momentum in the most favorable direction. 

When the wind seems to flow at cross purposes or is stilled to a whisper, it’s time to “Center Down” and construct a reorienting “wind tunnel” to get it going again.  Yoga, meditation and exercise are excellent means of “wind tunneling” to regenerate/recapture favorable wind energy and direction. 

“How many roads must a man walk down,

Before they call him a man?

“The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.

The answer is blowin’ in the wind.”

Bob Dylan

Gratification

Gratification is the intimate and ultimate driving force of first and last resort: We want and NEED to be happy! 

If love is what makes the world go around,

happiness is the overarching sentiment involved. 

But how we go about being happy, when, and how much?  Answers to these questions comprise much of the substance of life and living, but the answers don’t come easy. 

Motivational speakers and writers talk about “Balance” in life – including things that bring a requisite amount of happiness/joy/gratification.  Some mistake the notion of “Balance” to mean that we have to give equal time and energy to everything and find equal amounts of positive reinforcement.  Unfortunately this is an impossible goal, which serves only to make us feel guilty for not being able to make it happen. 

The “Perfectly Unbalanced Life” is a more pragmatic goal, but an art form that must be mastered over time. 

“You can’t have everything … at least not all at once!”

Real Life Maxim

[Attribution Uncertain] 

Gratification is an even more tenuously rigged unbalancing act when considering NOW versus LATER.  You can have small gratifications now or you can have something bigger and better later. 

The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20454074-the-marshmallow-test 

“Psychologist Walter Mischel, designer of the Marshmallow Test, explains what self-control is and how to master it.

A child is presented with a marshmallow and given a choice: Eat this one now, or wait and enjoy two later. What will she do? And what are the implications for her behavior later in life?

The world's leading expert on self-control, Walter Mischel has proven thatPsychologist Walter Mischel, designer of the Marshmallow Test, explains what self-control is and how to master it.  
A child is presented with a marshmallow and given a choice: Eat this one now, or wait and enjoy two later. What will she do? And what are the implications for her behavior later in life?      
The world's leading expert on self-control, Walter Mischel has proven that the ability to delay gratification is critical for a successful life, predicting higher SAT scores, better social and cognitive functioning, a healthier lifestyle and a greater sense of self-worth. But is willpower prewired, or can it be taught?

In The Marshmallow Test, Mischel explains how self-control can be mastered and applied to challenges in everyday life—from weight control to quitting smoking, overcoming heartbreak, making major decisions, and planning for retirement.   

With profound implications for the choices we make in parenting, education, public policy and self-care, The Marshmallow Test will change the way you think about who we are and what we can be.”  

But the real “unhinging” of balance in gratification happens at the point of leaving gratuitous gratifications from the 7 vices behind and becoming immersed in acquiring higher level gratifications: Like a job well done; like the altruistic gratification of helping someone else; like surprising customers and supervisors by exceeding expectations; like experiencing pride and joy in someone else’s accomplishments; like learning a new language; like the pure thrill of discovery and creative accomplishment; like solving problems and decoding puzzles; like mastering a musical instrument or singing a song … 

In large numbers of professions, people will say they receive more gratification from their jobs than they do from their paychecks. 

Some on the fringes are patently unhappy/ungratified unless perpetually engaged in “Beating the System”.  And some seem only content when complaining.  Toward what end, one has to ask … and with what justification??? 

What “turns you on”?  Better yet, what turns you UP?   And how enduring are those things? 

The trade-offs for enjoying trivial gratifications NOW and paying the consequences later are actually a lot larger than counting marshmallows … for example, sacrificing one’s sustainable health and wellbeing by indulging in tobacco, alcohol, donuts and Ding-Dongs. 

And, I have to confess, the amount of gratification I get from watching “Access Hollywood” – which I did quite by accident once for five minutes – is miniscule compared to what I get from reading a good book. 

How much happiness can you stand … do you deserve? 

It’s probably proportional to the amount you’ve invested to justify it. 

Early in life our happiness is provided on the shoulders of significant others who have heavily invested in us – be that parents, society, government or otherwise.  If we try to sustain that level of happiness without kicking in our own investment, we borrow from both others and the future to an extent that will ultimately bring us to ruin.  THERE IS A PAYBACK OR A PAY-FORWARD FOR HAPPINESS.  Paying it forward is much less expensive, much more certain and much more fulfilling. 

Early morning in Africa, a boy awakes wistfully thinking: “If only I had shoes, I would run like the wind!”  Much later that morning, a young person in the Bronx wakes up thinking:  “If only I had NIKE shoes, I would run like the wind.”  Throughout much of that day, a child in Iraq, caught in the cross-fire of a gruesome uncivil war, says wistfully: “If only I had FEET, I would run like the wind.”  What’s it going to take for you to run like the wind?  How happy or unhappy would you be with a set of shoes?  … a pair of  NIKE shoes? … two healthy feet? 

Perspective is important.  Learn to be happy with simple … even distant … things that have LARGE, positive and enduring consequences.  Quartermaster

Playing Time

The measure of a sports figure’s stature in his or her chosen sport is PLAYING TIME.  The better you are, the more playing time you get. 

And it’s not just scoring that counts.  Rebounds, defense, and assists are huge contributions that add critical value to playing time. 

Consistency is also important.  Teams value someone they can “count on” for high level performance in diverse circumstances. 

Here’s an exercise for both the sports fan and casual observer:  The next time you watch a football or basketball game – or even soccer, lacrosse, or hockey – watch who gets “handed” the ball or puck the most and who get the least “touches”.  Generally, the player who gets the most “touches” will be the player who can most be “counted on” to do something “GOOD” with the opportunity.  The others are likely only filling in for someone who needs a breather. 

But there is another element in the equation here: Great scorers have to position themselves to receive the ball.  A deadly shooter in basketball has to be able to run his tail off through screens and switches to get free enough for a clear shot.  And a football receiver has to create enough space from defenders to receive a pass. 

And did you ever watch a game and wonder why the coach kept a star player on the bench while the team struggled to compete?   It could be because the player needed more than usual recovery time from either hard practices or intense play or a significant injury.  Or it could be that he needs an attitude adjustment … isn’t playing with enough intensity … has lost his “edge”, isn’t grounded or focused on the game.   Or it could be that the player broke some team rule. 

And what about players already on the court or field not getting a reasonable share of “touches” -- not being sought out by their teammates?  It could be due to lack of intensity and an inability to create space.  It could be due to a smothering defensive opponent shutting him down.  Or it could be due to a strained relationship with other players; a “lone wolf” in a team sport – even an outstanding scorer – has to first earn “personal points” with the team. 

Playing time is important.  Getting a critical mass of “touches” is important.  Assists and key supporting roles are important.  Hustle is important.  Being accountable is important.  Being a “Go To” player is important. Attitude is important.  Focus is important.  Creating “space” for good things to happen is important.  Total intentional practice and preparation is important.  Knowing the playbook is important. 

And experience is important.  The 10,000 hour rule for prime time performance has to be met or exceeded.  Experience provides the ability to envision and anticipate the unfolding flow of play and to play mentally ahead of the physical game in progress. 

“A good hockey player plays where the puck is.

A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.”

Wayne Gretzky 

Don’t underestimate the importance of ancillary “player points” – those that make you a worthy, totally engaged, collegial contributor.  And practice tuitional “visioning” so you can end up wherever the puck is going to be.   Quartermaster

One in Twenty

[From Peter Thompson TGI Monday, May 4, 2015 (annotated)] 

The 1 in 20 rule wags its finger everywhere in life. 

[NOTE: The Pareto Principle states that 80% of effects come from 20% of causes; thus, 80% of production results from 20% of the producers, etc.  That’s 1 in 5.  However, true leadership and innovation comes from a much smaller pool of “owner” initiators, and the estimate of 1 in 20 may, in fact, be conservative here.  However, the illustration is nonetheless instructive.] 

Conventional wisdom is followed by the 19, and they’re wrong! 

Adventurous/Innovative perception is engineered by the 1 and she’s usually right! 

Let’s examine…

How many people at about retirement age are able to do so in relative comfort as opposed to relative discomfort?  About 1 in 20 

How many people spend less than one hour watching the AIR?

(That’s the Automatic Income Reducer that sits in the corner of most people’s lounges.)

About 1 in 20. The other 19 spend 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 hours -  A DAY – glued. 

Here’s the truth…

If you’re aiming for success – by whatever or whoever’s dictionary description you use – then following the 95%, traipsing after the 19 in 20 will invariably be the wrong course of action. 

Who owns the proliferating Gold/Silver buying shops? The 1 in 20. Who’s selling their gold and silver to those owners? The 19 in 20. 

Who sets goal for their life? The 1 in 20

Who’s a piece in someone else’s goal? The 19 in 20. 

Who starts the day with a Do List or Action Plan? Who doesn’t? 

Is there any area where this does NOT apply? 

If so, I’m struggling to find an example. 

CLARITY POINT:
This is not a criticism of the 19 – just a reminder to you and me, as the 1 in 20 that we need to be, that we need to be uncompromisingly vigilant in maintaining our position. 

“The price of greatness is more than most want to pay.

The world’s most legendary athletes are usually the ones most wildly out of balance.

[But they are also the ones changing the world …

doing what they have to do –

doing what’s IN them –

it’s who they are ... from the ground UP.] ”

Rick Reilly

Goals Revisited

 

“Our emphasis is not on goals but on culture.

Who we are;

What we do;

How we do it;

How it reflects our core values;

How it surprises – exceeds expectations.”

David Kennedy

CEO, University of Kentucky Federal Credit Union

2015 Annual Meeting Address 

The point was well taken.  The UKFCU had beaten the averages of major benchmark Federal Credit Unions in every performance category for more than 13 years running.  Had they lined out goals – e.g., for membership, total assets, growth percentage, etc. – they could no doubt have met them all.  But the core emphasis would have gotten lost in the numbers.  Above all, they are a service organization, not a numbers accumulator.  Perhaps simply “Minding their ‘Ps’ and ‘Qs’” is the better path: 

Priority Pondering, Processing, emPowering, Promotion, Practice and Prosecution 

Quickening the Quantum Quest for Quintessential Quality 

I personally became suspicious about hard and fast GOALS in my late teens.  I had heard reports of goal setting and goal attainment … like the report of the fellow who set the goal to make a million dollars by the time he was 35, and actually did it.  But I didn’t even have half a running start on that path, and couldn’t imagine it being realistic for me.  And, I had to ask, THEN what?  Second of all, I had too many ancillary interests – like music, sports, literature, and just sheer wonderment.  However, I most didn’t like the thought of setting myself up for failure! 

Nonetheless, I tried to give a decent account of myself.   It was expected.  And I enjoyed the affirmation.  Then, too, very early in the going, I realized I didn’t like being hungry, cold or without significant negotiability in the world.  I had also witnessed a broad spectrum of imbecilities and moronic behaviors I did not want to emulate.  And sustainability became a haunting preoccupation, as I became increasingly aware of the limits of options available in Appalachian Pennsylvania.  I was not yet aware – in the late 1950s – of Abraham Maslow and his formal pyramid-based hierarchy of needs, but it seemed the urge to fulfill such was already embedded in my marrow (which, I guess, was Maslow’s whole point!)  Perhaps it suffices to say I had “aspirations”.  Not necessarily GOALS, per se.  But I knew what it was like to WIN … and I sure as Hell didn’t like losing! 

Along the journey, I had the luxury of being exposed to opportunities and challenges that got me thinking about things farther up the pyramid … such as wondering, along with Burt Bacharach,  “What’s it all about, Alfie?”  Of course, that didn’t put food on the table, and I fully understood the importance of practicalities.   But a sense of mission and purpose – some kind of “meaning” was also important.  Goals were fine, and I was willing to tackle my fair share.  But the Grander Purpose … core values … and principles were more compelling pursuits in the mix.  I also wasn’t too keen on perseverating about things I “coulda” done or “shoulda” done. 

With all of the above as background, my interest spiked when I ran across the book entitled Living Without a Goal by James Oglivy. 

To my great disappointment, Oglivy strained to make a much larger point than necessary about the disappearance of absolutes in religion, politics, science and cultural mores – which he refers to as “Grand Goals”.  His central theme is that generations past could reasonably aspire to achieve some sort of “salvation” [Grand Goal] through any or all of these channels.  But, now that they are obsolete, we have to find different ways of vectoring through life.  [I thought it would have made much more sense – and would have been an even more compelling read – had he used the title “Living Without Guidelines and Guardrails”.] 

His first premise is still valid: Destinies previously charted by external forces have now become the province of the individual, meaning that we’ve got to develop a much keener personal sense of where it is we want to go … or at least have a direction in mind; if not “Goals”, then at least “Headings”. 

“The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,

but in which direction we are heading.”

Oliver Wendell Holmes 

So I’ve become an ardent advocate of “Headings” … and it’s companion pursuit, “Betterings”.  Tangible goals are still fine [even Oglivy admits].  But, while achieving them can be exhilarating and motivating to keep us pressing on, they can be artificially high, low, arbitrary or irrelevant to the grander scheme of things. In place of the credit union example above, one could inaugurate a new season in sports with any of the following goals:

• To beat last year’s record
• To have a “Winning Season”
• To go to regional finals
• To win the national championship

But for any one or all of these goals, one has to ask “Then what?”  

The more relevant consideration is: Why do you play the game?  The goals are irrelevant if you’re in the wrong game for the wrong reason.  If the game you’re in resonates with the innate talent you have and the skills you’ve developed, then that’s where you belong … and you’ll do whatever “belonging” allows or requires. 

“Whether it’s on defense or at the plate, I grind out every pitch and just play as hard as I can.  When my career is over, I want to be happy with what I did and say that the effort was there.”  Ryan O’Hearn, first baseman for Lexington Legends 

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,

[a ballplayer must play ball],

if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.

What one can be, one must be.”

Abraham Maslow 

So what drives us on if not the Grand Goal or the next goal?  Perhaps it’s the passion to BE whomever it is we ARE.  Beyond that … Mere engagement.  Creative exploration.  Path Finding.  Discovery.  Wonderment.  The “thrill of the chase”.  Or, perhaps, the fear of being left behind. 

Disappointments and regrets have been a lot fewer for those who, while reaching for the stars, judiciously mined the depths inside themselves along with the world around them.  Quartermaster