Incongruent Behavior

I’m sure there’s a better way to describe it, maybe even in technical terms, but I believe we need to acknowledge that some behavior just doesn’t add up to a whole SUMMNESS, all things considered – and “all OTHER things being equal” … which they definitely are NOT universally.  Here are some examples:

           Teen to his mother: “I need my Social Security number.”
            Mother to teen:  “It’s on your SS card.”
           Teen: “I lost my card.”
            Mother:  “It’s also on that slip of paper I gave you for your back pack.”
            Teen: “I lost that, too.”
            Mother:  “[Sigh] I’ll go dig through some files.”
            Teen:  “You might consider getting more organized!” (Zits: February 20, 2012)

Mountain climbers decide to tackle the highest mountain in mid-winter under the most treacherous conditions and expect rescue teams to be at their beck and call when something goes wrong.

The percentage of “Guilty” pleas entered before the court is infinitesimally small, and the prison system is literally bulging with people who don’t think they did anything wrong.  

But incongruent behavior is rampant throughout civilization at much more subtle levels. 

Folks abuse their bodies with junk food and toxic substances, then expect the healthcare system to bail them out and make them “normal”.  (They have pills for that, don’t they?)

Prima Dona employees want to be declared “special” with all the perks while being assigned less work than anybody else.  (Otherwise known as the “Prince” or “Princess” Mentality.)

NBC TODAY Show listener question/answer session, Wednesday, February 22, 2012:

Question: “How can I reduce my credit score (implication: ‘What ‘magic’ can I tap into so I can borrow more money at cheaper rates)?” 

Answer:  “Pay your bills on time and reduce your credit/debt balances!”  [Duh!]

In an old episode of “Roseanne”, Darlene defends her failing grade on a test with righteous indignation, declaring a flagrant “foul” against the system because her friend forgot to wake her up from sleeping through the previous class! 

Taking full responsibility for ourselves and our own wellbeing is viewed with increasing “optionalism”.  As long as we can conjure a friable excuse or “fall-back” position, as long as we can invoke inalienable “rights” and “entitlements”, and as long as we can get significant (more responsible?) others to bail us out and/or defer to our peculiar personal “proclivities”, we expect the parade to keep moving to the dysphonic din of our own distemperate drumming.  And getting repeatedly “rescued” and “reprieved” perpetuates the problem while increasing the stakes of the inevitable “Defining Moment”.

Incongruent behavior – i.e., behavior inconsistent with our overall potential, our overall goals and our overall wellbeing – is not a sustainable enterprise.    

     “But how can he expect that others should

      Build for him, sow for him, and at his call
      Love him, who for himself will take no heed at all?”
From “Resolution and Independence” by William Wordsworth

What are the options? 
Try “Total Intentional Living”.  Or “Take Something Like a Star” (Robert Frost).  While “ … It asks a little of us here ... It asks of us a certain height … “, it gets us much closer to our most desirable goals with much more certainty, with much higher denomination “passage”, and with many fewer encumbrances.   Quartermaster