Dance With Life

In 1996, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., released a book entitled “End the Struggle and Dance with Life” (St. Martin’s Press)

This book had some great advice for people completely overrun by life’s circumstances.  Jeffers, personally, had not only driven herself to obtain a Ph.D., but distinguished herself as a prolific writer, been divorced, and was enduring treatment for cancer. 

However, while anyone in Jeffers’ shoes is absolutely entitled to “End the Struggle” … it is not necessarily advised otherwise!  If you don’t have your Ph.D., haven’t distinguished yourself in anything, and haven’t yet endured any number of life’s most traumatizing circumstances, you’re not off-the-hook!   I noted with particular interest the title of one of Jeffers’ previous books – written while she was still struggling and not yet dancing – “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!” 

Today, while freezing my butt directing traffic at the Kentucky Horse Park, I found that “dancing” helps while you’re deeply embedded within the struggle! 

I had signed up to help the Rotary Club manage a huge traffic control challenge during the annual Kentucky Farm Bureau Farm Equipment Auction.  Trucks loaded with equipment, trucks with empty trailers coming to bid on equipment, and single vehicles had to be guided to different areas, and they all came in – and out – from a tri-state area between 6:30 am and noon.  I’m sure it was comical for anyone watching, but I found that “dancing” my way through the inevitably threatening traffic jams was the only way to survive!  (It was also cold and I had to keep moving!)

Here’s some important background on the “dancing” phenomenon:

Archimedes, jumping into a bath tub full of water and seeing it overflow, yelled “Eureka!  Two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time!”  [ https://www.livescience.com/58839-archimedes-principle.html ] (Well, it was a little more complicated than that, but that’s the take-away for this discussion.)  Modern Quantum Mechanics took the issue to the sub-atomic level

[ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-body_problem ], but the “Two Body Problem” has been a perennially confounding conjecture.  Quantum Mechanics has advanced attempts at a resolution by including the concept of motion.  Pushing that notion forward, the Quartermaster at EU has resolved the issue by restating it thus: “Two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time … unless they’re dancing!” 

So I’ve begun DANCING! 

If you really want the full impact of the “two bodies occupying the same space at the same time” thought, check out the following Facebook Post from Engineering Discoveries:

https://www.facebook.com/engineering.discoveriess/videos/392916291276119/

Wow!  Figure THAT one out!!

Back to dancing … It turns out that the choreography doesn’t really matter, as long as you keep moving.  Key Point: It helps to ANTICIPATE what’s coming next … and to have some place to go … and be “leaning” in that direction, else you risk serious discombobulation. 

To begin “dancing”, try to capture or create a “rhythm” in what you’re doing.  Spirituals sung in the cotton fields and drum beats in the African bush made onerous activities much less debilitating.  Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi suggests we find or create a sense of “Flow” in the engagement with everyday life (Basic Books, 1997).  When things really get stressed, swaying to the blues may help – or switching to defiant “Rock ‘n Roll”!  Or let the “Sound of Music” carry you along:

“When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.”

Or do a Yoga chant : https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/the-beginner-s-guide-to-common-chants

When working in a tight kitchen with many cooks, DANCE!  When caught in heavy traffic, DANCE!   When caught in a mass of people attending a popular public event, DANCE!  When preparing dinner, DANCE!  When crossing the street as a pedestrian, DANCE with the traffic.  When mowing the lawn, DANCE!  When pulling weeds, DANCE!  When cleaning the bathroom, DANCE! 

My own “dancing” when things get tough or tight generally consists of repetitive, semi-rhythmic physical activities – like climbing stairs, doing squats at my desk, lifting lead bricks, or doing floor exercises … or taking a walk around the neighborhood … “dancing”.  It helps FOCUS attention and facilitates “thought-processing”: Writer’s block generally clears in between 90 seconds and 5 minutes!  

The Rhythm of Life keeps changing.  Sometimes it’s frenetic, sometimes contemplative, sometimes completely baffling.  Sometimes it’s Brahms or Beethoven or Mozart, sometimes it’s Stravinsky, sometimes Calypso, sometimes Blues, sometimes Jazz, sometimes Asian, sometimes Mariachi, sometimes African …  Find or create your own way of DANCING, tap into a rhythm that matches the moment, and keep life happening.  Feel the fear and do it anyway – and don’t think you have to do it alone!    Quartermaster

Illusions

We live every day with illusions.  Some of these illusions are necessary – just to make enough sense in our own corner of the world to be able to function with minimal angst … until, at some point, the illusions no longer work.   Then we either face the truth and consequences and “new realities” or create even more preposterous illusions to assuage the discomfort in our comfort zone – or attempt to explain away our discomfort or blame it on someone or something else! 

·         People believed the earth was flat … until they actually sailed around it.

·         People believed the earth was the center of the universe (geocentrism) … until Copernicus, affirmed by Galileo, declared  the sun as the center – not of the entire universe but of the local solar system (heliocentrism)

Some illusions are imposed on us by others ... like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.  … and like we’re special (so we have a measurable level of self-esteem.) … like we don’t have to “sweat the small stuff” … like “takin’ care o’ business” is “struttin’ your stuff” on a street corner … and like being cynical, misanthropic, using foul language, being demeaning/recalcitrant/defiant and subversive not only elevates us in some twisted fashion but is “cool” …   

Magicians create illusions to startle and amaze us ... because the more preposterous things are, the more inclined we are to believe them! 

But we don’t need much outside help to get ourselves virtually wired with illusions.  We create for ourselves the illusion that our time is infinite … that we are immortal … that we’re OK just the most depraved way we are (whatever that is) … that if we “don’t feel like it”, we shouldn’t be bothered doing it … that tomorrow will take care of all the indiscretions of today …

Perhaps the most unwitting illusion is “taking things for granted” … the failure to recognize or acknowledge the numbers and amounts of subsidies that contribute to our success and well being. 

A small child was seen gleefully skipping all the black floor tiles in the hospital corridor while hanging onto the hands of two adults.  “I did it all by myself,” she exclaimed as she cleared the last tile.  Well, not exactly!

“The free market has worked its magic”, claimed the Barnett Shale Energy Education Council in 2012, referring to a natural gas boom created by a drilling company innovation.  However, this “free market success” was built on more than $100 million in government-funded research over a period of 20 years to develop the shale fracking process – in the face of scathing corporate criticism – and billions more in tax breaks.  The federal energy subsidies for  “… gas and petroleum industries altogether accounted for about $2.8 billion in federal energy subsidies in fiscal 2010.”  [Kevin Begos, Associated Press]

Overcoming our illusions is a life-long struggle. 

Some illusions are more difficult to shake than others.  Samplings include:

• Life just continues to get better
• The world owes me a job and a double-digit hourly income
• All income is “earned” income
• All income is “discretionary”
• A credit limit is the same a spendable income
• Anything I can get away with is fair game
• Unscheduled time is “free” time
• Everybody is equal, but I’m special [“… some are more equal … “]

But illusions are not necessarily all bad.  Scientists would be hamstrung without them … in which case, their “illusions” are called “hypotheses”.  The only difference between scientists thinking as scientists and the rest of us is that scientists insist on TESTING their illusions, and then adjust their thinking to accommodate “new realities” according to the outcomes experienced. 

CAUTIONARY NOTE: Illusions can easily turn into DELUSIONS without warning!   (Rogue scientists have been caught fabricating data to conform to their favorite hypotheses!)   

NOTE 2:  The most seductive illusions are “Conspiracy Theories” … carrying the aura of divination and inside-tracking of alternative “Truer Truths”.  It is, indeed, intoxicating to “discover” that the Mayan civilization originated on Mars!  

Those brave enough and/or interested enough in exploring more of life’s “New Realities” will find the following reference a great resource:  

http://www.waltermartin.com/forums/showthread.php?261-An-Eschatological-Laundry-List   “An Eschatological Laundry List:  A Partial Register of the 927 (or was it 928?) Eternal Truths”.   This list appears in "If you meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!" by Sheldon B. Kopp.  Published by Bantam Books, ISBN 0-553-27832-0.

A sampling:

1) This is it!
2) There are no hidden meanings.
3) You can’t get there from here, and besides there’s no place else to go.
4) Nothing lasts.
5) There is no way of getting all you want.
6) You can’t have anything unless you let go of it. 

REALITY can be a tough traveling companion … and “New Realities” can be even tougher, especially if one’s expectations are embedded in VIRTUAL reality – or simply in “the way things have always been”.  [NOTE: Neverland is called “Neverland” for a reason!]  But life is always evolving and nudging us to “grow into our full potential”, with the “tough stuff” meant to “toughen us up”.  We need to do REALITY CHECKS and HACK into every possibility life offers.   You will be amazed at what you can do and become by consistently OVERCOMING!  Quartermaster   

Nobility of Small Things

All of us would become much more broadly, deeply and enthusiastically engaged in life if only we had more NOBLE enterprises to pursue.  Mundane things like “chores” and “homework” and everyday maintenance flotsam and jetsam don’t really “light our fire” … they’re not really benchmark engagements for which we’ll get any credit or reward or from which we’ll gain any sort of satisfaction, and are hardly worthy of any effort beyond trying to AVOID them as we wait for BIGGER things to materialize!

And, so, we end up languishing, unenthusiastically uninspired, “waiting for our ship to come in” with flags unfurled and brass bands blaring to launch our truest Destiny.

 

Waiting …

“If was really important,

wouldn’t someone ELSE already be doing it?”

However, it turns out there is a paradoxical conundrum to consider here.  It so permeates the universe that it appears in the Biblical narrative as follows:

“He that is faithful in that which is least

is faithful also in much.”

Luke 16:10

“ …  good and faithful servant!

You have been faithful with a few things;

I will put you in charge of many things.”

Matthew 25:21 

Now THAT is how to FLOAT YOUR BOAT!  

Or how about this:

“If you want to change the world,

start off by making your bed.”

Admiral William H. McRaven

Wow!

It’s not at all intuitive.  Perhaps that why so many don’t catch on until an overwhelming number of Defining Moments catch up with us. 

Bottom Line:  Little things matter!  Consider this infamous “Myth of the Marketplace”:

“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”        Commentary from Mike Fisch

            [“Weekend Edition” with Liane Hansen, November 21, 1999, National Public Radio]

“Sometimes when I’m copying a double-sided government document, there’s a paper jam.  The two pieces of paper rest deep in the innards of the copier, hiding from me like scared animals.  I say a swear word that sounds like ‘ship’.  That’s when somebody says, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff, Big Guy.  It’s all small stuff.’

But what the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” brigade seems to have forgotten is that my job is sweating small stuff.   I get paid to sweat.  My [time-lines], memos, [edits], faxes [VMX call returns], and double-sided copies are bran fiber for a constipated bureaucracy.  As soon as I stop sweating out the fiber, I cease to exist ...” 

George Foreman didn’t start out as a heavy weight boxing title contender or a Grill Master marketing genius:

“Before I was a boxer, I was a dishwasher.  I was great!  I was the best dishwasher ever.  I’d get through doing my job; my dishes were so nice and clean … so I’d mop the floors.  I out-mopped the floor mopper.  Then I would help the cooks peel the potatoes.  I was the best there was.”

That’s “Nobelizing”!  

So what’s the point here?  The point is this: The more we take on the mantle of noble endeavor, the more “natural” it becomes, the more “automatic” it becomes, the more INTENTIONAL we become, and the more satisfaction we derive from ALL of our efforts.  If you’re having a bad day but you have at least made your bed, you at least have ONE thing to celebrate!  [And, aside from anything else, don’t be surprised if somebody else notices!]

So how do we go about “Nobelizing” the mundane?      

·         Make things challenging

·         Find ways to make them interesting

·         Make things more efficient

·         Reorganize your work space

·         Make things better than you found them

·         Be creative / Invent a new tool

·         Enhance your negotiability

·         Redefine what is “rewarding”

·         Make stuff “sparkle”!

Above all, stop whining and complaining! 

And MAKE IT FUN!

Don’t wait for “Noble Endeavors” to show up on your doorstep.  Nobility has a way of finding where it belongs.   Quartermaster

Character

Our “Character” is the main currency we carry for successful navigation in the universe … with underscored attributes of trustworthiness, accountability, and all the rest. 

Recent events lead one to wonder how much our “Character” is hard-wired and how much of it is malleable … and with how much effort? 

The recent flare-ups over past racially-charged behavior and sexual harassment alleged against politicians in Virginia graphically underscored the question:

Can one ever amend one’s ways

to a point of becoming not just a “better person”,

but a dedicated crusader for a more just and morally-driven future?

The conjecture has surfaced multiple times recently, perhaps even more glaringly with the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.  Whether he did or didn’t do what he was alleged to have done 35 years ago in college, shouldn’t one’s past immature indiscretions be left in the past, particularly when one has gone on to accumulate a solid public record of otherwise estimable behavior?  Is there no “sobering up” redemption – no “second chance”?  Can one not learn from one’s mistakes?   Can a “pattern of behavior” not be changed?  Or, like a zebra, is one stuck with one’s “stripes” for the duration? 

[An aside: It’s also interesting to consider the question of how differently Justice Kavanaugh might have felt about the issue of abortion – the ostensible primary basis on which he was presumptively nominated – had his immature behavior … or that of conspicuous others in his circle … resulted in the pregnancy of one of his college compatriots … !]

The case of Harvey Weinstein is more problematic:  Evidence suggests he was unable to change his behavior … or perhaps unwilling, driven by power, privilege and presumptive entitlements, making the boundaries irrelevant?

And what of Bill Cosby … or Garrison Keillor … or …? 

Never mind the challenges going forward from all that was left behind, what about the large “body of work” each contributed before, during and/or after egregious – even “unforgiveable – incidents?  Does it wipe out brilliance?  I have books by both Cosby and Keillor that I have, heretofore, considered valuable reference resources and am wondering if I now have to move on to other “more reputable” sources? 

What about those who have not yet been “caught”?  How many of the legislators who participated in the Kavanaugh hearings had skeletons in their own closets?

And what about the timely increased interest in the rehabilitation of criminal offenders?  Here’s an entry from recent news:

“Dena Williams, 33, has asked a Scott Circuit Court judge to grant probation for the remainder of her 20-year sentence. She pleaded guilty in November 2005 for her role in the death of Ashley Lyons.  Lyons, 18, … was more than five months pregnant when she was found shot to death …Roger McBeath Jr., the ex-boyfriend of Lyons, is serving a 42-year sentence for complicity to murder Lyons.

 … In the written motion, Williams says she “was very young and easily persuaded by” McBeath … Furthermore, Williams said she “was not the main offender of the crime and has already served approximately 70 percent of her sentence for her role in the crime.”

https://www.kentucky.com/news/local/counties/scott-county/article225547410.html

So, the fundamental question is: How much – for the better – can each of us change as we grow and develop and mature in attempting to make our way in the world … and does that even count for anything?  And, if we DO change, is it just for “political correctness” or due to more intrinsic re-direction?  Perhaps one life-altering dose of shame is more than enough, but only then?   Legislation to return voting rights to convicted felons after they’ve “done their time” is also relevant here.   

If we’ve learned anything at all from human behavior, it is that INTEGRITY – the core element of Character – is the last bastion of sanity.  When integrity is breached, very little of purpose or meaning in life remains.  [It is, no doubt, for this reason that some criminals resolutely cling to the myth of innocence in the face of overwhelming evidence against them.]     

“Character” is defined by the way we behave when nobody is looking.  It is the ability to hold ourselves accountable to the highest standard without external intervention.  It is the ability to admit “I screwed up!”, take the heat and redirect ourselves.  Character is refined by the fire of shame and hammered out on the combined anvils of Truth, Justice and Moral Imperative. 

Finally, “Character” is not “conditional”, “situational” or “circumstantial” ... and is rarely “convenient”.   The revelation that Winston Churchill was a proponent of racial hierarchies is not excused by assertions by his heirs that “he was merely a product of his time”.   http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29701767 

  

So let’s take an unbiased look at our own Character Profile.  What are our personal “fault lines”?  Do we have any “Fatal Flaws”?  An “Achilles Heel”?   Any “zebra stripes”? And what are the extant holdings that may mark us as “mere products of our time”?   

And let’s be circumspect about “Political Correctness”.  Doing what is “Politically Correct” may be seen by some as “selling out”, or as “white washing”. But, if something is RIGHT “for good reason”, it’s not just “Politically Correct”, it’s simply RIGHT – period!  

Nobody can claim a noble Character Profile is easily acquired.  The most noble among us have made incredible sacrifices, and many have felt the searing heat of a refining fire and the blunt force of being hammered out on an anvil.  The most fortunate have learned from OTHERS’ mistakes.  Let’s stop acting like Neanderthals, whose heritage we carry, change as many “stripes” as we can, “Man UP” to the most noble “Calling” we can muster, and act accordingly.  Quartermaster  

Quote of the Week

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.”  Mark Twain  

Choices

The thing that will take us the farthest distance TOWARD our Dreams – and the thing that can potentially take us the farthest distance AWAY from our Dreams – is simply the CHOICES we make.   How we use every minute of the time we are given adds to one side of the ledger or the other.  

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,

and only you can determine how it will be spent.” 

Carl Sandburg

At this dawning of the 21^st Century, choices in how we spend our time are almost limitless.  The problem is this:

The more choices we have,

the more likely it is we will choose poorly –

choosing that which “pleases us”

over that which is “good for us”.

Quartermaster

In fact, the number of things we choose NOT to do is probably THE MOST CRITICAL DETERMINANT of how far we will go. 

So how are you doing?  How much latitude do you allow yourself in choosing indulgence versus forbearance in any of the following:  Donuts/Pastries, Snickers Bars/Candy, “Comfort Food”, TV/Movies, Social Media, Tobacco, Alcohol, Drugs, Grease Burgers & Fries, Ice Cream, Soda, Gossiping, Indulging in Conspiracy Theories, Consumerism/Materialism/Shopping (How’s your credit rating holding up?) … 

What is your trademark indulgence – the one thing that “keeps you going” – the one thing you HAVE TO HAVE?   A double-latte coffee?   Coke?   A five mile run in the morning?  

It’s important to distinguish getting small, immediate satisfactions (instant gratification) versus LARGE SATISFACTIONS (DELAYED GRATIFICATION).  Compare:  

Having a soda, chips and dip while playing video games/watching movies

Versus

Conquering Antarctica by solo trek across the ice.

https://www.msnbc.com/craig-melvin/watch/colin-o-brady-talks-solo-journey-across-antarctica-1423420995903

There is not only virtue, but salubriation in giving ourselves NO CHOICE in certain areas.

“There are certain things one should not do at certain times,

and certain things one should not do EVER!” 

Quartermaster

INTENTIONALITY in choosing – choosing with some end-goal or PURPOSE in mind – is the default/de facto orientation for most successful navigation.  It’s both ennobling and enabling to be able to say: 

“I really meant to do that!”

If you need a “crutch”, try substitution/sublimation:  Eat carrots, celery, apples and oranges instead of crispy fried donuts.  Or EXERCISE!  Exercise is the best “crutch” available.    

Finally, keep in mind:

It’s OK to be a GEEK or a NERD!

It’s OK to CHOOSE TO DO stuff other people might deem completely unnecessary or “over the top” … like doing extra homework, or picking up somebody ELSE’s trash, or taking a shopping cart from the parking lot INTO the store, or speaking up and out against bullying, injustice, unfairness, etc., or letting someone else go first, or standing up against shaming, or helping a “slower” or disabled student …

Whether anybody else notices or not, YOU’LL know!  At least you can live with yourself and your integrity will remain intact.  And you’ll be able to sleep a lot better at night!  And, odds are, you’ll have even better choices tomorrow.  Choose well!  Quartermaster 

Quote of the Week

“No one can go back and make a brand new start; but anyone, starting now, can make a brand new ending.”   (attributed to Karl Barth)

EDGES

Much of our sense of well-being, our security, and overall quality of life depends on how well we manage the “EDGES” of our existence:  The boundaries, barriers and overall “framework” that define our world and keep us sane, secure, solvent, salubrious, sanguine, spirited and surging forward. 

When we lose the definition of “EDGES”, we lose significant degrees of both quality of life and navigability.  And, while “going off-road” and “coloring outside the lines” may be part of the exploratory, creative and adventurous processes that ultimately advance civilization as well as our personal place in it, a complete disregard for “EDGES” and/or for goals or aspirations that create more “yellow brick road” (with NEW or redefined “EDGES”) risks tilting the hand of Fate in a decidedly negative direction.    

The debilitating impact of “breached edges” was graphically illustrated by two recent encounters:

I.              The movie They Shall Not Grow Old by Peter Jackson [http://time.com/5466475/peter-jackson-they-shall-not-grow-old/]  This compilation of WWI film footage depicts the horrors of war – and of the absolutely abominable conditions inside the trenches – outside any conscionable boundaries of civilization. 

II.            An entry in the Lexington Herald-Leader (12/28/2018, p. 3A) graphically describes unconscionably depraved conditions – resulting from life with no discernible “EDGES” – found by law enforcement in a family’s home [http://digital.olivesoftware.com/Olive/ODN/LexingtonHeraldLeader/default.aspx?=&id=ZXJ0aWFAd2luZHN0cmVhbS5uZXQ= ]:

“ … officers found their home infested with insects and covered in filth … the door was not secured … the house [was] in disarray and feces around the house … there were multiple flies on traps and other insects crawling along the floor and walls … The kitchen sink had dirty dishes and moldy water.  The child’s room was also teeming with crawling insects, including the child’s bed … it did not appear there was any bedding or clothes for the child in the room.  There was trash throughout the house, along with the feces from four cats and a dog … [the father] did not know how much, if any, food was in the house … [The officer] said he couldn’t check all the rooms because of the amount of ‘filth and feces’.” 

Life well-lived requires some fencing – some EDGES – some BOUNDARIES!

Sports have rules and referees for a reason.  (They also have coaches!)  Unfortunately, life requires us to figure out a lot of the “rules” as we go.  And a lot of would-be/should-be rules are treated more like “guidelines”, which we read as “optional” and not very binding.  And, much of the time, “referees” and coaches are nowhere to be found … unless or until there’s a problem, and then it’s often too late for reasonable rectification. 

So let’s just go ahead and simplify it: 

“Certain things should not be done at certain times,

AND IN CERTAIN PLACES,

and a large assortment of OTHER things should not be done altogether.

When in doubt, DON’T –

unless you’re prepared to deal with the consequences.”

Quartermaster

Or how about this one:

“Do what you’re supposed to do

and life will turn out the way it’s supposed to be.”

Words of Wisdom from an old farmhouse calendar

Music is also illustrative here.  A symphony chart is bordered, bounded and “framed” in dozens of ways for dozens of different instruments.  Even a Jazz chart – where improvisation reigns supreme – has structure.  Otherwise, one simply gets a cacophony of meaningless, cringe-worthy noise.  Life shouldn’t be a cacophony of meaningless, cringe-worthy noise!

Here are some borders, boundaries and “EDGES” you might find helpful reinforcing in your own life at this beginning of a new year:

·         Stay within a reasonable budget

·         Use “Unscheduled Time” wisely

·         Brush your teeth / Maintain Health-Wise Personal Hygiene

·         Get some exercise

·         Show up at work and be accountable

Or try this one …

“If you want to change the world,

start off by making your bed.”

Admiral William H McRaven

Feel free to expand this list for your own edification. 

FINAL NOTE

An emerging theme for this year is that sacrifices are an integral part of staying-the-course for a building the life you deserve.  Our potential cannot be reached if we insist on chasing distractions and indulgences off the road and down every rabbit hole.  Admittedly, the world is moving faster every day and it’s difficult to keep up.  And we have an intrinsic desire not to miss anything.  But the unbridled pursuit of an “off-road” agenda has fairly predictable consequences, such as: lost opportunities, muddling mediocrity, stress, anxiety, depression and meaninglessness. 

Personal Note: I’m NOT watching football bowl games at this writing (three games are currently being broadcast), and it has not diminished my life an iota!  Good Luck with your “EDGING”!   Quartermaster

Quote of the Week

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.”  Carl Sandburg