Deservings

After a lot of arm-twisting and incentivizing during a recent vacation, we agreed to suffer through yet another high-pitched sales presentation for investment in a luxury vacation package.  The acclaimed benefits were astronomical:   Go anywhere, anytime … including luxury resorts in exotic places … for a mere fraction of what it would cost otherwise a la carte over a lifetime, in order to experience all the fun and frivolity we so obviously deserve!  Pick your “Dream Destination”, and simply cash in a few thousand “Points” out of the hundreds of thousands of points your investment will generate, and you’re THERE! 

It was an impressive sell! 

NOTE: The sales pitch contrasted American vacation time (1-3 weeks out of a high-pressured work-life year) to European vacation time (30 days to six months out of a much lower-pressured work-life year) to show how much less than we deserve we’re actually getting.  (REALITY CHECK: The sales pitch didn’t make any pretense of showing us how to extend the vacation time available … it only promised to make the time available much more luxuriantly spent!) 

How we could refuse the offer – especially after they threw in everything except the next newborn from the salesperson’s youngest daughter – was beyond the comprehension of our agent. 

But it came down to a really simple bottom line:  It was simply too much of a good thing – no matter how “reasonable” the price! 

Whoa!

How can THAT be? 

The fact is, I don’t really need to stay in a place that has a toaster and coffee maker that synch with my smart phone.  And I don’t do golf – one of the top drawing cards for associated resorts.  And I haven’t yet used the Jacuzzi in any of the resorts we’ve frequented over the past 20 years … well, maybe once.  And 1,800 square feet of space is way more than we need for simple sleeping headquarters to allow us to enjoy exotic places.  Also, the 60” flat screen TV in every room is a vast overkill for getting daily news and weather sufficient to plan our day or week.  And I don’t really need “Designer” furnishings and classical art on the walls and an exquisite chandelier over the dining room table. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It took some doing, but I tried to explain to the sales agent that my Judeo-Christian/Puritanical work-ethic background had given me a severely truncated idea of what I “deserve” in life, leaving me unable to deal with opulence. 

What I really NEED to make life worthwhile – and what I think I DESERVE – is quite different from the glitz and glamour of exotic places for brief times.  I made a short list, not in any priority order (see Maslow), of things that help “float my boat”, not just once or twice a year, but nearly every day:

• Absence of deprivation
• Equal opportunity for self-development/self-actualization/self-expression
• A sense of personal worth
• Cleanliness
• A sense of “order”
• Fairness / Justice
• Security
• Opportunities for life-long learning
• The chance for advancement
• Respite from debilitating stress
• Health and Wellness
• Decency
• Respect
• Engagement with “respectable” others
• Reinforcement of a sense of humor
• Access to high quality entertainment
• The chance to advance the civilization of which I am a part

Curiously, most of the things I NEED and DESERVE from this list require a substantial investment on my own part.  To attain a sense of worth, respect and engagement with respectable others, I need to earn the right.  To attain Health and Wellness, I need to eat right, exercise, get appropriate rest and eliminate unnecessary stress. 

To be really honest and fair, I might add to my list the need and desire, if not the deserving, of World Peace, in addition to elimination of world hunger, ignorance (Stupidity should be self-limiting, but hardly ever is!), and epidemic disease. 

Final Thought: Doing the daily grind with only the vision and possibility of remote respite, and saving up all of one’s “reward points” until that hallowed one-week or two-week reprieve in an exotic place happens, leaves one at least 50 weeks short in a year of things we may “deserve” otherwise.  How we use our TIME – each and every hour/day/week – and how we sort and execute our personal CHOICES gets us more – or less – of everything we need and deserve.  If we choose to watch 6 hours of TV per day or to be inextricably immersed in social media, we’ll sacrifice a good deal of personal and professional development, not to mention stress-busting exercise, meditation, or inspiration, plus a whole lot of future BLUE-CHIP CHOICES.

Cautionary Notes:  1) It’s tempting to escalate “wants” into “needs” and into “deservings”.  There’s only a thin and blurry line of separation across the board that’s easy to confabulate and manipulate; 2) Very few of us get everything we deserve (that’s both the Good News and Bad News!)  There’s an entropic tax to be paid and a “conscionability” delay imposed before the fruits of deservings can be realized;  3) It’s more than OK to have a critical mass of “deservings” in escrow for “rainy day”; and 4) The formulation that works best in a capitalistic environment is: “If you WANT more or NEED more, DESERVE more!”
    

Codicil:  Spending a week or two in an exotic place is not a sin.  Take it if you can get it!  But don’t spend it all in a Jacuzzi or on the golf course or simply doing buffets in high-caliber restaurants.  Go explore, learn about other cultures and geographies and history, get some fresher air and exercise, and take some inspirational/meditative reading material along.  Regenerate, don’t Degenerate!  You NEED it.  And, if you can get it, you probably DESERVE it!   Quartermaster

Castes and Classes

The US is supposed to be – and is broadly acclaimed to be – a “classless society” … a place where one’s heritage or tribe of origin or starting station in life doesn’t really matter. 

In graduate school, I shared a lab bench with a scientist from India who wore traditional upper-caste dress and had an ever-present red dot on her forehead to mark her station.  I was a grad student working toward a Ph.D. degree and she was a technician with a B.S. degree, none of which mattered in daily lab activity.  We each had our “place” in our respective work-a-day worlds and carried out our responsibilities, accordingly.  However, her “place” in the greater universe was well above my station, and she could retreat to that universe when either desired or necessary. 

It turns out that “special privilege” is something each of us aspires to attain and many claim to own …  even – or, perhaps, most especially – in a “classless” society.

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

George Orwell in Animal Farm

Standing in line at McDonald’s for a fast-food “fix”, it is not unusual to overhear someone say, “Gimme a double cheeseburger and supersized fries ”, as though the “Servant Class” is obliged to endure any indignity while serving the “Master Class”. 

Castes and classes in the US may be less pronounced but are no less real.  They fall within families, tribes/nationalities, religious groups, political parties, schools, sports arenas, etc. 

In a capitalistic society, self-esteem is important.  If we can’t feel “Special” or “Superior” for some reason, we don’t have nearly enough “wind in our sails” to navigate the world. 

“If you’re not winning, what are you doing here?” 

So we will even artificially inflate the self-esteem register to our own “critical mass” level by vicarious means, if necessary.  It’s invariably “US” against “THEM”, and “US” is so obviously the more deserving, it’s a wonder “THEM” even shows up! 

There has been a recent swell of discussion about high school teams invoking prayer before athletic games.  If God’s on your team, who can prevail against you?   Otherwise, one can’t be too sure of certain things, so you hang your hat on every leveraging point you have available when dealing with the uncertain.

Sports apparel and paraphernalia are big business in the US.  Everyone wants to identify with a particular team/town or franchise, which they perceive to be superior or more “sanctionable” in some way. 

NOTE: At sporting and entertainment events world-wide, the wealthy get front-row seats while the “rabble” are relegated to the bleachers in the back – or to the TV screens in a bar.  In fact, 21^st century entertainment venues go to great lengths to single out the wealthy by providing exclusive suites and club houses, with offerings of gourmet catered embellishments.  Class distinction by wealth is now an institutionalized life-form reality. 

The good news is that, in the US, one can still – with considerable effort – rise to classes above our originating station.  Glass ceilings still do exist for women and minorities, but are becoming more breakable. 

Finding one’s comfort zone caste or class is not the challenge.  Striving hard enough to reach one’s rightful caste or class is the challenge.  We can’t rationalize, excuse or explain our way UP, or rise via vicarious means to where we "belong". 

The bottom line is this: 

“Everything you deserve is going to take everything you’ve got.”

 Now go get it!”  Quartermaster

Benchmarking

Today’s question is: How are you doing … and compared to who(m) or what? 

Everything is relative, right?
 

No less than Einstein, his own self, said so! 

However, what’s dangerous about benchmarking is that we can always identify someone less “special”, less “good”, less worthy, less “balanced”, less intelligent – however nuanced we want or need to define the comparisons field – than we are.  It doesn’t change the field of play or any associated reality.  It merely changes how big or small the box is in which we choose to confine ourselves. 

We’ll even make things up – or dress them down – or even go to the bottom of the barrel for comparisons, insofar as necessary to make us feel comparatively more special/entitled/worthy or enfranchised for certain privileges. 

This is “elitism” at its worst.  Tribal tenets are often elitism based: “My tribe is better than your tribe [and we’re even going to build a HUGE wall to keep you out of our territory – HUGE!”] 

Another subtle trap of “virtual benchmarking” is adopting the conjecture that “Everybody is doing it!”  … never mind that this takes us DOWN to everyone else’s level rather than elevating us.  Just for the record, here’s a brief reality check on exactly what “everyone else” is NOT doing: 

Everyone else” is NOT …

… drinking a case of beer – or two – every weekend

… “drugging out” on opiates or sports

… using tobacco

… watching 6 hours of TV per day / bingeing on YouTube, movies and sit-coms

… having a frappuccino and 3 donuts every day / dessert every meal

… connected to social media 24 hours a day

… getting by on “credit”, excuses and explanations

… using mood-altering/mind-altering drugs just to cope with reality

… surviving on burgers, fries, soda and milkshakes

… “getting away” with everything we might want for ourselves

… as “stress-free” as they would like us to believe or as we would like to think they are 

The select few who are, by most reasonable accounts, “Making It” ARE …  

… doing regular “Reality Checks”

… fighting to stay organized and solvent

… fortified by effective life mastery routines and systems in place

… totally intentional about their nutrition, physiology and pharmacology

… getting at least 6 hours of sleep a night

… totally intentional about how they use their unscheduled time

… getting at least a modicum of exercise

… setting and strictly following boundaries

… doing “unpleasantries” first

… delaying gratification and sacrificing indulgences

… investing in the future / planning and preparing for sustainable wellbeing

… continuing their personal and professional development

… maintaining positively reinforcing networks of personal and business associates

… generously supporting benevolent causes

… well-grounded emotionally, psychologically and spiritually

… getting recommended medical checkups & screenings

… “bullish” on regeneration/recharging/recreation 

Point to Ponder

If we’re serious about benchmarking,

we should legitimize the process

via independent, objective assessments …

such as … 

What do our friends really think of us?   Are you the “Go To” person of first resort when your friends need something of value?  [Perhaps, first of all, we might define “who our friends are” and how legitimate their assessment might be for who we are and where we could or should be.] 

How about our professional colleagues?  Are you the “Go To” person of first resort when professional associates need leadership, specialized skills or services?  Are you at the “leading edge”, the following edge, or merely on the fringe and only “on call” in an emergency? 

How about family?  Do family members look to you for any “enlifenment” at all – other than for constant drama, making sure there are no leftovers at mealtime, being the “life of the party”, or pontification about the latest political or religious controversy?  How much are you contributing, personally, to the overall advancement and ascendency of family values and wellbeing? 

Finally, what does my boss really think of me?   Jack and Suzy Welch [referenced in Costco Connection, April 2015, p. 25] suggest asking ourselves the following: 

Am I aligned with the team’s mission and values? Alignment takes the grind out of the game of business. 

Am I contributing to an atmosphere of truth and trust?  Ultimately, bosses value employees who show integrity by seeking and speaking the truth, and always acting in ways that enhance transparency and confidence.  [NOTE: TRUSTWORTHINESS is a key Life Mastery characteristic.] 

Am I delivering expected/average results, or over-delivering s-t-r-e-t-c-h results?  Competition is fierce, requiring companies to sell more with different products through new channels sooner.  Think about your job in ways that make it bigger, smarter and more successful.  That’s over-delivering. 

Final Point to Ponder 

While benchmarking can be a helpful exercise, it does not tell all.  What really matters is being the best YOU, no matter what others say, do, think or feel!  Set the highest benchmark for yourself that you can muster, and let it be a standard for OTHERS to measure themselves against.    Quartermaster   

The American Dream

I’ve seen only a paucity of movies in my time, so I thought retirement might be a good time to catch up on a few of the more notable productions through a movies course in the OLLI program (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute for people over 50). 

The theme of the course turned out to be “The American Dream”.  Several of the movies chosen for presentation and discussion were movies that suggest the American Dream is gone. 

So I thought I’d better find out – neversomuch too soon: just what IS “The American Dream”? 

“The American Dream is a national ethos of the United States, a set of ideals in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility for the family and children, achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers.”

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Dream

So, if the American Dream is gone, when did it go, where did it go and who stole it? 

Here are some confounding realities:

1. It’s always been held that education would solve our economic problems and assure that we all could achieve the American Dream.  However, despite billions of dollars being poured into education at all levels annually, it remains a sad fact that too many high school students are neither job-ready nor college-ready, and too many college students are not career-ready. 
2. More than a few people with Masters and PhD degrees can’t find jobs.
3. Corporate enterprises complain that they can’t find enough qualified people to fill open positions.  (IBM, alone, had 1,400 unfilled vacancies in 2014.)
4. Too many people are trying to raise families working minimum wage jobs.
5. Increasing numbers of jobs are being eliminated by automation.

However, there’s also the fact that jobs in Green Energy enterprises have substantially expanded – and are expected to continue to do so for the foreseeable future – and foreign nationals are filling increasing numbers of jobs in science, medicine and engineering that can’t be filled by US citizens.  NOTE:  The foreign nationals are not “taking American jobs away”, they’re filling a desperate need that’s not being met.  That’s also happening on the low end of the scale.  Why are so many immigrants so anxious to come to the US seeking a better life? 

But let’s take a deeper look at the economy.  In recent years, the exploding ‘Baby Boom’ generation expanded the economy many fold, not only by getting themselves “established” in civilization, but by UPGRADING … getting newer, bigger cars, bigger houses … more stuff and bigger places to put it.   At some point – and we may well be near reaching that point, or are past it – they will have had enough, and will be downsizing. 

However, what concerns me more is that perhaps we have misjudged what life – and the “American Dream” – is all about and how it works.  America remains the wealthiest nation with one of the best education systems on earth, yet we haven’t figured out how to make it more inclusive and more sustainable.  Worse, there’s some evidence that folks have quit paying attention: 

“So Mr. Rohn – you’re living in the richest country in the world,

you’re broke, in a dead-end job, with a family and no money in the bank …

Tell me – WHO SOLD YOU THAT PLAN?”

Jim Rohn … recounting the words of his mentor, John Earl Shoaff 

Maybe – just maybe – we’ve bought or been sold a “Bill of Goods” that simply doesn’t hold water … and the leaking barrel is only just now starting to cramp our style. 

It started innocently enough.  Our parents didn’t want us to have to work as hard as they did to get where they got, yet they wanted us to go so much farther.  So they worked even harder to make life easier for us so we could apply ourselves to higher endeavors.  However, a bunch of us took “easier” for granted.  Along the way, virtual realities became a more prevalent part of our lives, starting with sitcoms, superhero fixations, then video games morphing into the ever-present internet, smart phones, YouTube and social media.  Who has the TIME, ENERGY or INCLINATION anymore to do something useful!?!   And is all that really necessary?  Aren’t we entitled to sustainable indulgence? 

In essence, life has become so good in the halo of legacy gains that only the excessively driven see any need to go out of their way either to keep a good thing going or to go for “better”.  With so much prosperity all around us, one is tempted to believe we have already won!

Point to Ponder

The American Dream didn’t evolve during prosperous times but through desperate yearnings of desperate times where the only thing to hang onto was hope, and the thing most cherished was opportunity – something more than a few folks were even willing to die for.   It seems the Dream dimmed as desperation dissipated following hard-won victories carved out of deeply-mined opportunities many had to create for themselves.

 Additional Points to Ponder

[Source: www.kauffman.org]

• About 476,000 new businesses were created each month in 2013 across America.
• The Latino share of all new entrepreneurs in 2013 was 20.4 percent, up 4% from 2003.
• The Caucasian share of new entrepreneurs declined significantly during this period.
• 430 out of 100,000 immigrants start businesses each month compared to 250 for native-born Americans.

These are broad brush strokes.  There’s no question that opportunities are much more selective and that competition is much tougher than it was at any time in the past.  However, opportunities still DO exist, and the American Dream still DOES exist, but the terms and conditions for its acquisition have been taken up a notch.  We can poignantly say that ‘Life will never be the same again’, but perhaps, all along, we made “The Good Life” out to be a lot more than it really is for a lot less effort than is really required.  Or maybe the core of the American Dream hasn’t really changed at all.  If we look closely, we will see that those who’ve achieved it on their own terms have done so at considerable personal sacrifice.  If we substitute “personal sacrifice” for “hard work” in the Wikipedia definition, it will perhaps translate more accurately to both current and future circumstances.  Quartermaster