Compensate

I’ve always been slower than the average bear – not overtly talented and not “rocket-scientist” smart.   

So I’ve had to compensate – and sometimes over-compensate – to make a decent run at life.   

While I loved music, I never learned to “read” more than one note at a time and had to memorize anything more complicated.  [My piano teacher had compassion on me and would play FOR me the pieces I was to have under my belt for the next piano lesson.  After hearing them, I would go home and practice them “by ear”, knocking out any errant notes one-at-a-time.]  So after seven “superior” ratings in American Federation of Music Clubs piano competitions, I gravitated to trumpet and vocal music.  Even so, I realized early that a career in music was not a viable option.  So I turned to science.  [There was so much less competition!] 

Here, the going was also a one-note-at-a-time engagement.  But memorization was less meaningful and less rewarding than understanding, so I worked particularly hard at understanding.  I “compensated” by studying diligently and learning to “read between the lines” (called “critical thinking” in some circles).  Consequently, I wasn’t well versed in ungainful engagement and trivial pursuits ... never learned the finer arts of Gin Rummy, Poker, pool, pinball, Jeopardy! or most other gratuitous “pass-time” activities; never knew of Peter Falk until he died in 2011.  

In sports, I wasn’t particularly outstanding either.  But I compensated by never missing a practice or game, by seeking coaching advice, by practicing on my own unscheduled time, by supporting the efforts of “star” players, by assisting underclass players, and by being as formidable an opponent as I could be in practice scrimmages.  

Spoiler Alert:

If you’re not in an overtly competitive environment, your uncompensated liabilities may not be all that apparent.  But the scoreboard is no less aggressively tallying up “points”. 

Point to Ponder:

It seems more noble, honest, candid, honorable and irreproachable to claim that who we are and how we are is more important and more than sufficient for all practical and probable purposes, and that to try to be anything more or different – as in having to compensate for simply being ourselves – is inauthentic.  However, there IS a big difference between being our authentically best selves and being our authentically worst or most recalcitrant selves …

and who neither wants nor needs an “Edge”?

We all want to be “special”. 

But we are what we are until we become what we’re capable of becoming. 

And sometimes we are our own worst enemy.   

“There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us,

that it ill behooves any of us to claim the ‘moral high ground’

over any of the rest of us."

Adapted

from

James Truslow Adams

With that much latitude, we can all better ourselves in SOME way at SOME thing. 

Summation

The biggest rewards in life go to those who make the best of whatever they’ve got; don’t “short” yourself by simply being your effortless self … be your BEST, totally invested self, and learn early how to compensate for your liabilities.  Quartermaster 

“’ … though with great difficulty I am got hither, yet now I do not repent me of all the trouble I have been at to arrive where I am … My marks and scars I carry with me, to be a witness for me that I have fought [the] battle.’” Mr. Valiant for Truth in “The Pilgrim’s Progress” by John Bunyan

 

Wanting It

[Ref. Peter Thompson, TGI Monday, November 25, 2013]

Peter Thompson says the road to success begins and ends with one common, underpinning element: DESIRE. 

“You and I find [DESIRE] stated by anyone who’s achieved anything.  We find it missing in those who haven’t or continue to miss out on what could be theirs.  [But] … more than just ‘desire’.  It’s DEEP DESIRE!  …when we don’t have a deep desire … we get sidetracked.  We lose focus.  We wander from the path and let the inconsequential
of life capture our attention, our time, our energy.

If you have goals or dreams or aspirations, you can easily check if you’re likely to achieve them.

Just ask yourself how deeply you desire them.  If the answer resonates with success – then ‘yes’ you’ll get there. If it doesn’t – you won’t!

I’ve heard deep desire referred to as: Firm Intent.  

It means the same – different words same intent.”

But even more important than deep desire is the element of commitment … resolution – sometimes with single-minded, bull-headed, dogged determination – to put a path or a goal above all else and eliminate/sacrifice anything that stands in the way. 

* * * * * * * * * * *

The “other side of the coin” representing DESIRE is:

“How much is it worth?”

The more perceived and more permanent value something has, the more likely it is to capture and retain our attention.  That’s why BIG Dreams are so important.

Consider this:

If it’s not worth everything you’ve got, maybe it’s not worth engagement at all.

Unfortunately, we’re woefully inept at assessing intimate and ultimate value.  If anything pleases us in the moment, we figure it’s “good enough.”  We’re equally quick to say, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”  Worse, we are quite the experts at inverted-value attribution: e.g., moving things we WANT to the level of NEED, as in “I NEED some cheese cake/a drink/a ‘fix’ right now!” Or “That dress [TV/video game/ ____] is simply to die for!”  

Further complicating life in the unperturbed moment is the fact that it’s easy to defer the more difficult “deeply desired” or less attractive “necessity” to the indeterminate future … as in plain old procrastination.    

One of the primary cornerstones of failure is simply wishing for / hoping for and expecting success as a matter of entitlement rather than “deeply desiring” it.  This orientation is based largely on no-great-sweat progress-to-date, achieved with no small measure of societal investment.  Thus, we fail to realize and/or we under-appreciate the full Distance to Destiny and the Degree of Dedication required to get there. 

NOTE: Eric Hoffer called the core driving force of success “HUNGER”.  Hunger is a much more acute sensitivity than a “deep desire”.  It’s a physiologic need that is debilitating if not resolved with expediency.  Hunger is also a more or less permanent condition … it’s always lurking in the background. 

Finally, that which is “Deeply Desired” in the end comes with moment-to-moment challenges that may be patently UN-desirable.  Capacitizing ourselves to deal with the harsh, hard and harrowing is more than half the battle. 

So here’s our “charge”:

·         Dream BIG

·         Identify your DEEP DESIRE – your PASSION

               *An unquenchable HUNGER

  *Something of great WORTH – worth everything you’ve got

·         Get CAPACITIZED

·         Get TOIT and DOIT!

Happy Thanksgiving!  Quartermaster

Spending Time Wisely

ERTIA UNLIMITED makes a very big deal about not wasting time.   

But the real trick is how to spend our time wisely.  It’s more than slightly alarming that most of us have no clue what would constitute the most judicious use of our time.   

First, understand that big things must be done in small steps,

small things eventually DO add up,

and keeping the cutting room floor clear and organized is extremely helpful.

Here’s a list of other things that might be helpful:

*Do your homework.

*Get organized.

*Get EXERCISE – it’s hard to overestimate the importance of aerobic engagement.

·         It strengthens the constitution

·         It enlifens the spirit

·         It clears the mind

·         It dissipates angst and stress

·         It gives one a justifiable sense of wellbeing

·         It does wonders for one’s demeanor and complexion!

*Learn a new skill – become the “Go-To” person – a true Craftsperson – for something useful:

·         Learn how to use all the icons on the software packages you use most frequently

·         Learn how to put together a multimedia presentation

·         Create a web site

·         Know your way around spreadsheets

o   Do a financial analysis of your own assets and liabilities

o   Make 5-year, 10-year and 20-year projections on earnings and savings

*Identify and fortify your passion.

*Take a course that will cultivate your strengths.

*Read something inspiring/motivational/enlifening. 

[Spend some quality time in the local library and book store.]

*Do “Journaling”: Write, write, write and edit, edit, edit.

            [Communication skills are the most important translatable assets you can “own”.]

*Document what you do and how you do it … create a blueprint for You, Inc.

*Prepare and keep updating your Resume.

*Prepare a PowerPoint presentation and practice delivering it.

*Compose your own song.

*Create your own art.

*Develop your own Personal Manifesto.

*Become your own first-best life coach.  

“Nobody has to hustle to ‘Catch DOWN’.  DOWN happens all by itself.  DOWN was DOWN before we got started and keeps going DOWN for the duration.  Our challenge in life is to ‘Catch’ as much ‘UP’ as we can.  Let’s start Catching UP!” Quartermaster 

Reload Reflection:   If you are not in a position to catch your own Dream, it’s OK to live vicariously in helping someone else catch theirs.  But this means tangibly helping, not simply basking in someone else’s glory without making any personal investment.  It could be a parent, a sibling, a son or daughter, an at-risk teenager, a co-worker, someone starting their own business, or someone touched by great misfortune.  Fortune smiles on all who actively participate. 

WHY

Why do I push so hard – trying to improve … trying to become better … trying to do more … trying to beat my last best …?   

Why am I so adamant that personal development must be a continuous and ever-mindful process? 

What is the point of pushing ourselves, denying ourselves gratifications, and making sacrifices large and small? 

[Haven’t we done enough already?]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Because: Life does not just keep getting better all by itself.  “Finally arrived” – wherever we might think that is or should be (e.g., age 16, 18, 21, graduated, married, got a job, etc.) – is only a temporary and very fragile place.   

Because:  The PUSH reduces the proportion of closed doors and blind alleys we otherwise encounter and results in both more choices and better choices. 

NOTE: Paradoxically, the more one pushes, the bigger the load gets.  This is discouraging to most, but that’s life!  However, in pushing – if we push purposefully and intentionally, we become stronger, smarter, more capacitized and more “accomplished”.  When we push less, there becomes less to push.  Happy Day!  Well, not quite.  When we run out of things to push, we run out of life.  That’s an option I can live without.

Because: It allows me to sleep better at night and allows me to feel better about myself in harsh daylight. 

Because:  Newtown/Sandy Hook, Hurricane Sandy and other tragedies of overwhelming loss keep happening, and the best way I can deal with them is to keep fighting.

A horse came upon a sparrow lying on the street, feet in the air, hyperventilating and in obvious angst.  The horse quizzically asked the sparrow what on earth he was doing.  The sparrow said he heard the sky was falling and he was trying to help.  Nearly convulsing with laughter, the horse bellowed, “What can you do with those silly little twig legs of yours to keep the sky from falling?”  The sparrow replied – with utmost conviction and determination: “One does what one can.”  Anne Lamott

Because:  None of us “arrived” wherever we are under our own steam, and cannot, thus, claim all the entitlements we’d like to think should be ours for the duration.  The considerable subsidies and fundamental/foundational dependencies currently floating my boat – and your boat – will eventually run out.   

Because:  The responsibilities don’t quit coming but keep escalating, the costs keep escalating, the tests get harder, and failure has greater and tougher consequences the farther we fail to go.   

Because: The “filter” of our own experience is flawed.  Personal scotomas and myopias, combined with the lack of a fully reflective visioning capacity, gives us an errant and incomplete view of the world and of our place in it.  So, in a very real sense, we have to overcompensate.  

Because:  Habits, inclinations and “natural” tendencies allow us to drift into dangerous, debilitating and unpotable waters.  

Because:  Being “in a league of our own” … making our own rules and being our own referee … is a game nobody wins.     

Because:  We all have an unbelievable number of unfounded assumptions and unrealistic expectations to overcome.   

Because:  There are no shortcuts to our Truest Destiny.  It’s going to take everything we’ve got.  We are given all the time and tools needed to make a successful passage, and wasting either of them ties the hands of Destiny against all odds of our ever truly “making it”.    

Because: Trivial engagements, diversions and gratifications simply don’t have lasting value.

Because:  We’d just rather NOT if we don’t HAVE TO – and need to get over it.

“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing we want.” (Calvin).

Because:  I’m worth it and my dignity demands it!  Sooner or later we will tire of not getting what we “deserve”; we’ll hit a glass ceiling we never saw coming; we won’t have the tools and tickets for the Big League Dance; and, ultimately, we will lose the two things we most covet: Control and Legitimacy (Integrity).    

Because: I have seen hopelessness and I have felt hopelessness and I have known last-straw desperation.  Without Hope and without a reasonable sense of eventual surmountability, there is no tomorrow worth fighting for.   

Because: My song can’t be sung by anybody else.  If I don’t sing my song as only I can sing it – with everything that’s in me, I am diminished, along with Hope and Justice and Truth and Destiny.  Quartermaster

…

“Life is either a great adventure or nothing.”

Helen Keller

“To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

Alfred Tennyson

[ From “Ulysses”]

“There’s always a new mistake to be made.”

[Overhead on NPR’s “The Story”]